Spocktacular

Do you ever encounter these people who call Mr. Spock from Star Trek Dr. Spock? Do these folks think that the Leonard Nimoy character wrote the Dr. Spock child rearing books? Boy, I bet they’re surprised when they order a Dr. Spock book and they don’t see Leonard Nimoy’s picture on the cover…

I bet Nimoy had a hard time getting other roles after Star Trek, what with those crazy ears of his. “Sorry Leonard. We can’t give you this role – everybody would think you were that Dr. Spock guy. But if we ever make a documentary about child rearing, we’ve got your number.”

Old Rick

 I’m not a fan of Dr. Rick of those Progressive Insurance commercials. He’s the guy who criticizes his clients for being too much like their parents. On a recent commercial he criticizes a guy for talking to someone who is in the bathroom when the door was closed. “When the door is closed, the conversation stops!” he scolds. Really Rick, you don’t have anything better to do with your time?

Meanwhile on an Old Spice commercial, a woman is yelling through a closed bathroom door at a man in a tub, asking him if he’s using all the Old Spice soap.

So, Madison Ave, which is it? Can we talk to someone in the bathroom when the door is closed, or not?

If any of you readers ever happen to see Dr. Rick in person, follow him to the bathroom and ask him through the closed door if he’s using all the Old Spice.  Ask him repeatedly. Thanks.

New Words and Phrases for 2025

 

Here are some new words and phrases we’ve stumbled across in the last few months:

• Stitious – Kind of superstitious, but not that much.  
• Fifth year senior citizens – Those senior citizens over 75, maybe 80. A voting block, no doubt.
• Sour Spot – the spot you hit when you miss the sweet spot
• Father in law Suite – Why don’t these exist?
• Twelve Pack – A dozen eggs
• Code Brown – Code language for a diaper change alert
• Lexiconception – Doing what we’re doing here. Doing what we do. Inventing words and phrases. 
• Snicker Doodle Doo - My cookie idea I'm proposing to the chicken restaurant chains.

Did I tell you I took a Marketing course in college? 

2026?

 

I was at the bank the other day and saw that the 2026 calendars are already available. That seems a little early, doesn’t it? We’re not even three quarters of the way through this year! They’re big calendars, but one would think that, with 100 days still to go in this year, they might get lost…

On the other hand, I recently noticed that our local grocery store still had the 2025 Farmer’s Almanac on the rack, between the National Enquirer and the Midnight Star.  That seems a little late for the almanac, I thought. Those crops are already being harvested, man…

Of course, the stores could just leave the same issue of the Enquirer out there all year and nobody’d notice.  Those UFO’s are gonna land whenever they want to. And Prince Harry will still be moping out in California…

I've Seen Earth Wind & Fire and i've Seen Rain

Earth, Wind, and Fire (EW&F) toured again this summer for like the 50^th time. Has anyone besides me not seen them live? What’s with their name? Is there significance to it? Shouldn’t we understand it by now? I don’t think we do.

Is one of the guys Earth, one of the guys Wind, and the third guy Fire? Are they supposed to be like Rock, Paper, and Scissors (RP&S)? (I never understood Rock, Paper and Scissors. Scissors cuts paper. And Rock destroys Scissors. But no way can Paper ever beat Rock. Rock would destroy Paper. C’mon. Sure, they’ll tell you that paper surrounds the rock. Yeah, right.)  In the case of EW &F I suppose Wind could blow out Fire, Fire could destroy Earth, but how does Earth destroy Wind?

Who wins a tag team fight between EW&F and RP&S? Discuss among yourselves...

Dust My Broom

In sports, when a team has won all the games in a series leading up to the final game of the series, fans supporting that team hope for a sweep, which is when a team wins all the games in a series. This leads fans to bring brooms to the final game; the brooms signify the sweep. Pretty clever, huh? I have a couple of observations on these events:

•           Fans only bring straw brooms, also known as corn brooms. I’ve never seen a push broom at a game. Somebody should bring one. And just once I’d like to see one of those Bissels at a game…
•           I’m surprised they actually let people bring brooms into the game. It’s a wonder nobody gets hurt. If I was in charge I’d limit it to whisk brooms. It’s hard to get hurt by one of those.

If I owned the team, I’d allow brooms at the game but I’d make it a condition that the fans sweep up around themselves after the game. Especially if it happened to be one of those bring your dog, Bark at the Park nights. C’mon. Is that asking too much?

Skin Care

Yesterday I heard somebody talk about getting goose bumps. Goose bumps are “a psychological reaction where your skin develops small raised bumps due to cold, fear, or excitement”, per Webster. I bet Eskimos get them, especially if they’re scared or excited.

People used to also get goose pimples. I know I did. But you never hear about goose pimples anymore. Why is that? Was a cure developed for goose pimples? A vaccine?

I’m thinking that global warming made them disappear. I’ll ask my dermatologist. I have an appointment next month.