Big Ride

I saw a headline today that read: “Governor Wants Tighter Seat Belt Law”.  Really? Those self-tightening seat belts are tight enough now, I thought. They’re tight enough that, when I go through a fast food drive through and order a double cheeseburger, large fry and a 56 oz Mr. Pibb, I can’t take my wallet out of my hip pocket without unlatching my seat belt. (Is that even legal?) Then you eat the burger, fries and guzzle the Pibb and that belt gets even tighter!

I gave a business associate a ride to BW3 once. I didn’t know him that well. My car started beeping – I told him his seat belt needed to be on. He replied, “I know” and proceeded to do nothing. He knew he was too big for the seat belt. I gotta tell you, that was one awkward ride. What does one do in that situation?

•                Turn up the radio?
•          Talk about the weather?
•          Turn back?
•          Ask him to move to the back seat?
•          Take off your seat belt to sympathize?

I think I said something like, “So, like hey, what’re you gonna order at BW3?” Yeah.

Photo Op

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while. We’ve been on a moderately needed vacation. Plus we lost an hour this morning. But yeah, nobody ever talks about a “not needed vacation”, or” kinda needed” vacation, do they? It’s always “much needed”.  Regardless, it was a great vacation; I’m rested and ready to go. As my high school history teacher used to say, “Let’s have at it!”

While on vacation, five of us ate at a restaurant, and we emptied the napkin dispenser that was on our table. We told our waitress about it. She checked the dispenser (?) and agreed that we were out, and proceeded to not fill the dispenser or give us more napkins, or give us our check for that matter. We don’t know what we did, if anything, to offend her. We eventually got the check from another employee.

It’s not like we asked her to take a picture of us and then later asked another employee to take another picture of us.  No. You don’t want to do that. But you’ll want to limit the number of pictures to 3, maybe 4. She’s got work to do. Somebody probably needs napkins.  

Stupid Pet Trick

Have you ever taken your dog to the vet to get spayed and instead the dog gets sprayed for fleas (they do that, right?)? I mean, this type of thing has to happen, right? Maybe not all the time, but I bet it happens. That’s why human doctors (well, vets are human too but you know what I mean), before doing a procedure, asks the patient what they’re having done today. The vet can’t do that with dogs. Sure, they can ask the dog in their dog voice what they’re having done today, but the dog can’t answer. No.

When you get the vet's bill, you can’t believe how low it is. And the dog recovers really fast. And you give the vet a really good online review.   

So yeah, there’s a lesson here: If your vet gets really good online reviews, make sure you ask about this little trick.

Some Bunny to Blame

I missed the Super Bowl halftime show this year. I had suggested that Taylor Swift marry Travis Kelce this year during halftime but that did not happen. No idea why. An explanation would be nice. So someone named Bad Bunny performed. Like I said, I didn’t see the show. But a lot of people saw it and the people I was with tonight definitely did not enjoy it.

The fact that people are still trashing this Bunny guy a month after the Super Bowl is concerning, especially considering we’ve been bombarded with the Olympics the past two weeks and then witnessed the huge US win in hockey yesterday. The concern now is what affect this Bunny will have on Easter candy sales. This may not be a good time to be buying Peeps Inc stock.

Burn Unit

I attended a luncheon yesterday where the guest speaker spoke about “avoiding burnout”. She suggested actions like eating properly, getting enough sleep, and not requiring people in other time zones to return your emails at non-business hours. She recommended that we try not to be jealous of our pets. Yeah, you read that right. Apparently some people are jealous that their pets don’t have to work and that causes people to get burned out. I’d be more worried about some pets getting burned out. Jack Russell terriers and hamsters on the wheel come to mind. I think that worrying about my pet burning out could lead me to burn out. But I was not asked to speak...

A fresher approach would be the topic of “avoiding burnouts”.  “Just say no” to drug users. Something like that. Maybe I'll be asked to speak on that topic. Yeah.

Wilt

Basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain claims he drove from New York to Los Angeles, a trip of 2964 miles, in 36 hours and 10 minutes. That would require an average driving speed of about 82 mph assuming no stops. Well obviously there were stops for fuel, etc. If we adjust for, say, one hour of stops, that takes the average speed up to 85 mph. So yeah, not undo-able. Of course, driving west he got to turn his clock back three times for time changes, but I don’t think he was including those extra 3 hours in his time. (Readers, do not attempt to change your car clocks when you’re driving, especially when you’re driving 85 mph!) I tend to believe Wilt based on the exactness of his numbers.

Charles Lindbergh took 33.5 hours to cover 3610 miles on his transatlantic flight. But he didn’t have to make any stops, pay any tolls or deal with traffic, and he had a tailwind. Lindbergh had it easy.

Lindbergh’s plane is on display in the Smithsonian. Can we get Wilt’s car in there please?  

On Thin Ice

Anybody watching the Winter Olympics yet? I haven’t turned it on yet. But I heard that one of our male figure skaters is a soldier in the US Army. Yeah. That’s your tax money at work, folks. You’re sending the government your hard earned income and they’re paying some guy to skate around to ABBA songs or something.. At first thought, that doesn’t seem right, does it?

Well, sometimes it doesn’t take a genius to figure this stuff out and I think this is one of those times. I think this is the United States Army showing Greenland and Denmark and others that, hey, we can come to Greenland and yeah, we got skaters and we can handle the ice and snow and so you’d better cooperate.

No pressure to win the gold, pal. No pressure at all.