Some Bunny to Blame

I missed the Super Bowl halftime show this year. I had suggested that Taylor Swift marry Travis Kelce this year during halftime but that did not happen. No idea why. An explanation would be nice. So someone named Bad Bunny performed. Like I said, I didn’t see the show. But a lot of people saw it and the people I was with tonight definitely did not enjoy it.

The fact that people are still trashing this Bunny guy a month after the Super Bowl is concerning, especially considering we’ve been bombarded with the Olympics the past two weeks and then witnessed the huge US win in hockey yesterday. The concern now is what affect this Bunny will have on Easter candy sales. This may not be a good time to be buying Peeps Inc stock.

Burn Unit

I attended a luncheon yesterday where the guest speaker spoke about “avoiding burnout”. She suggested actions like eating properly, getting enough sleep, and not requiring people in other time zones to return your emails at non-business hours. She recommended that we try not to be jealous of our pets. Yeah, you read that right. Apparently some people are jealous that their pets don’t have to work and that causes people to get burned out. I’d be more worried about some pets getting burned out. Jack Russell terriers and hamsters on the wheel come to mind. I think that worrying about my pet burning out could lead me to burn out. But I was not asked to speak...

A fresher approach would be the topic of “avoiding burnouts”.  “Just say no” to drug users. Something like that. Maybe I'll be asked to speak on that topic. Yeah.

Wilt

Basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain claims he drove from New York to Los Angeles, a trip of 2964 miles, in 36 hours and 10 minutes. That would require an average driving speed of about 82 mph assuming no stops. Well obviously there were stops for fuel, etc. If we adjust for, say, one hour of stops, that takes the average speed up to 85 mph. So yeah, not undo-able. Of course, driving west he got to turn his clock back three times for time changes, but I don’t think he was including those extra 3 hours in his time. (Readers, do not attempt to change your car clocks when you’re driving, especially when you’re driving 85 mph!) I tend to believe Wilt based on the exactness of his numbers.

Charles Lindbergh took 33.5 hours to cover 3610 miles on his transatlantic flight. But he didn’t have to make any stops, pay any tolls or deal with traffic, and he had a tailwind. Lindbergh had it easy.

Lindbergh’s plane is on display in the Smithsonian. Can we get Wilt’s car in there please?  

On Thin Ice

Anybody watching the Winter Olympics yet? I haven’t turned it on yet. But I heard that one of our male figure skaters is a soldier in the US Army. Yeah. That’s your tax money at work, folks. You’re sending the government your hard earned income and they’re paying some guy to skate around to ABBA songs or something.. At first thought, that doesn’t seem right, does it?

Well, sometimes it doesn’t take a genius to figure this stuff out and I think this is one of those times. I think this is the United States Army showing Greenland and Denmark and others that, hey, we can come to Greenland and yeah, we got skaters and we can handle the ice and snow and so you’d better cooperate.

No pressure to win the gold, pal. No pressure at all.

Signs of the Times

We have traveled quite a bit already this year. Some states are filled with billboards advertising cannabis. I pretty much keep my eyes on the road, but yeah, I glance at the signs. The people who sell space on these billboards have the easiest jobs in the world, ‘cause these signs are everywhere. I’ve seen so many of these that I expect every billboard to be an ad for cannabis.

Yesterday I was driving and saw a sign for a cabinet company. The letters on the sign read “CABINETS”. I of course thought it was an ad for cannabis and gave it only a brief glance before realizing it was an ad for cabinets.  You don’t have to have taken a Marketing course in college to realize that the cabinet company is not getting full value out of that billboard. People think it’s cannabis.

This, no doubt, is why you don’t see many billboards advertising marinara.

Afrin

I came home from vacation with a head cold. Sneezin’, weezin’, tearin’ up, that kind of cold. Fortunately we have Afrin. The nasal spray. It has nothing to do with Africa; they might have it there, but it doesn’t come from there. So it’s not affected by the tariffs.

As a reminder, don’t have just one Afrin in the house. As Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell used to sing, “It Takes Two”. Keep one bottle in your left pocket for your left nostril and one in your right pocket for your right nostril. You don’t want to spread the cold from one nostril to the other. Think of this as the nostril firewall. 

We had a guy in high school who thought that the human body had two independent respiratory systems and that each nostril took in air solely for its side of the respiratory system. 

I’m gonna ask him at the reunion if he carries two Afrins.  

Reenactment Revisited

Why don’t we see war reenactments in cold weather? C’mon. It’s not like every battle took place in warm weather. Let’s step up guys…

Reenactors, rather than pretending to fight at a park, could fill some valuable roles in society. Let’s say someone is building a new Dollar Tree and they need a couple of old farm houses demolished. Rather than hiring a contractor to do that, why wouldn’t they bring in reenactors who could demolish the structures while reenacting a key battle? Obviously, modern warfare would be the preferred era for this type of project with the use of tanks and napalm providing the most efficient tools.

Reenacting could be so much more than what it is. For instance, why not have militia from different eras fighting each other? For instance, what if the Confederate army had been there to storm the Bay of Pigs? What if Teddy Roosevelt’s Rough Rider had been Viet Cong? How would history have been changed? These reenactments could maybe supply some of these answers.

The best part of the demolition idea is the developers wouldn’t have to pay the reenactors. This is weekend recreation for the reenactors and they would likely pay the developers. While this would be a win-win for the developers, one of the militia groups would unfortunately lose the skirmish. One possible solution here would be to have participation ribbons for the losing militia…