Tur(n)key Operation

I know a guy who, while waiting for a surgical technique to be approved here in the states, went ahead and had the procedure done in Turkey. He could afford it, and he was in considerable pain, so he flew over and had it done. He says he feels the best he’s felt in years.

I wanted to find out more about the procedure, so I googled “Turkey doctor”. The only thing that turned up in my search was veterinarians. So yeah, I don’t think he had the procedure done by a veterinarian, but now I kinda want to know. Is it socially acceptable for me to ask him?

This type of thing has to happen all the time I bet. People go to Turkey for surgery, only to find out after they get there that their “Turkey Doctor” is a veterinarian. I don’t have time to look this up (gotta run this blog) but if somebody could look into that that’d be great.  

Bone to Pick

We have at least 3 skeletons in our neighborhood. They’re all human based skeletons but they’re all very large, so I don’t think any of them are real skeletons. I’m not an expert, but these skeletons appear to be anatomically correct. None of them has 3 arms, or a head attached to a shoulder. None of that.

I think the fact that they are anatomically correct could be useful. My thought would be to use the skeleton for anatomy lessons for young students. This could be done individually for home schooling students or as an inexpensive field trip for schooled kids.

I plan on taking a pointer with me on my next walk with my granddaughter. I will need a pointer. Hopefully my brother-in-law will let me borrow his pool cue.

I will of course need to “bone up” on my anatomy knowledge before the next walk.

Dolly Parton Day!

So yeah, Friday was Dolly Parton Day. 9/25.  I think I was the last person to hear about it. I was pretty embarrassed when I heard about it at lunch. (But who works 9 to 5? Don’t we all work 8 to 5? Why 9 to 5, Dolly? 8 to 5 would have worked just as well in the song…)

To avoid future embarrassment, I’d like to be on the front end of designating these future special days. We at UTST are suggesting the following:

• January 9^th – PT 109 day. President Kennedy’s WWII torpedo boat.
• January 5^th – IV day! Visit someone who’s on an IV.
• October 4^th – CB radio day, good buddy!
• March 11^th – Second shift day. We’re not proposing a third shift day ‘cause third shift straddles two days (overnight) and it would be confusing.

Mark your calendars!

Ballad of the Thin Skeleton

My granddaughter and I were out for a walk in the neighborhood today when we stumbled across one of those large yard skeletons. It was large, perhaps the size of the Jolly Green Giant. Maybe it was the size of Gentle Giant, the progressive rock group from the ‘70’s. I never listened to their stuff and I don’t know why they had that name. But maybe they had a giant on their stage during their concerts.

Maybe it was the size of Goliath, the legendary Philistine warrior who was defeated by David. David and Goliath is a great story. What most people don’t realize is that not only did David defeat Goliath, he did it with a broken arm. Yeah.

Where do you think he got the sling?

Blood Simple

Forty years ago we had businesses where you could give blood and get paid for it. These places became hangouts for down and out people who desperately needed cash. Needy folks would sell their blood as often as they could to generate spending money. These businesses no longer exist; in place, we have the Red Cross who miraculously manages to convince Americans to give their blood for free.

Or do they? In order to incentivize us to “give” blood, the Red Cross over the years has instituted the practice of giving “donors” gifts and often adding a gift card of some sort. Last time I “donated” they gave me a tee shirt and a gift card. The tee shirt says I “gave” blood. I can’t get myself to wear the tee shirt ‘cause I didn’t give blood. No. I sold it.

The solution here is this: the Red Cross needs to design tee shirts that say “I sold blood”. This addresses the truthfulness issue of “selling” versus “giving” blood, while also advertising that they do indeed pay for blood. Spreading the word that the Red Cross pays for blood will lead to increased donations. Bingo!

Did I mention that I took a marketing class in college?

Greetings!

I saw 3 people over the weekend who I thought I knew. In each case, when I greeted them, they did not know who I was. Now these types of things happen, but three times in two days? You really start to question yourself. Questions like:

1. Am I not making any impression on people?
2. Is my appearance rapidly changing?
3. Is my appearance rapidly changing for the worse?
4. What kind of people am I hanging around with?

If this ever happens to you, here are a couple of tips:

1. Don’t give up on these people. Greet them again next time you run across them. Give them another chance.
2. Realize that people can and do have identical twins

If they don’t remember you on the next greeting, it would then be appropriate to ask them if they have an identical twin.

My wife tells me to quit saying I know people when they don’t know me. Good point. Know means know!

Gimme Animal Shelter

We bought a puppy from a shelter in ’02 when our kids were little. She was a great dog. She was labeled a “mixed” breed but she was part Petite Bassett Griffin Vendeen and part something else. Seeing as how Petite Bassett Griffin Vendeen was apparently already a combination of four breeds, I guess the shelter didn’t want to add a fifth word to her breed and simply labeled her “mixed”.   

I think that’s pretty inconsiderate.  If a breed can be four words, I don’t think a five word breed is out of the question. Then the dog can have the dignity of knowing that she is a member of a breed.

When we moved to a better neighborhood in ’08 the dog was hesitant about going because she thought the dogs in the new neighborhood were all pure breeds. She eventually adjusted but if the shelter had had the decency to call her mix a breed this stress could have been eliminated.  

When you get a dog license, can you invent the breed? Maybe that’s the answer. Has anyone tried that?