Wild Turkey

Wild turkeys are making a huge comeback around here. They were extremely rare a few years ago. Now they’re everywhere. To me, they’re not pleasant to look at and I can’t imagine eating one. They look really old. I’m sure the pilgrims were hungry when they got off The Mayflower, and I appreciate what Squanto did and all at that first Thanksgiving. I really do. But, looking at these birds, I gotta think that the corn and the squash and the beets (did the Native Americans have beets?),and maybe the sweet potatoes were better than that old wild turkey. Oh, and the rolls. I forgot about the rolls. And those birds were so skinny there was probably hardly any stuffing. Do you think Squanto had cranberries?

Heck, I might even eat kale before I’d eat that old wild turkey.

Gimme Some Skin

Remember potato skins? Yes, you can still get them in some places. Now, there are some serious calories. And they are served as appetizers! Whoah! Put on some cheese, some sour cream, a little bacon, I’m not sure what else. That stuff’s all good for you, right? Oh, and then eat your meal afterwards. And we wonder why we’re a little overweight.

I think maybe these skins are made from the baked potato skins left on people’s plates at restaurants. Gross, I know. But, unless we work in the kitchen at the restaurant, we really don’t know, do we? If your potato skins come with a little tin foil on the bottom, I guess you know the answer. Always check.

Korean Forefinger Fighting

I had a friend in college who was really good at Korean Forefinger Fighting (KFF). What is KFF, you ask? That’s when you cram yourself into a bus seat where there are already two guys sitting and start a forefinger fight with the guy in the window seat and you both pummel the poor guy between you with forefinger pokes while pretending to be mad at each other. The guy in the middle pretty much takes a beating but it’s all in fun. And it’s a great way to meet people. My friend perfected his KFF while riding on some long bus trips in college. I always made sure I got a window seat when he was around!   

Maybe next time Trump meets with Kim Jong-Un he could break the tension with some KFF. I’d pay to see that.

Market Survey

We went to a huge produce market recently. It was one we have not visited before. We got some wonderful food and learned a few things while we were there such as:

•          There are no shopping carts. Note to self: Buy the melon at the end of the visit next time.
•          Unlike the fair, they do not have a demolition derby. We thought we saw one but it was a parking lot.
•          We sampled pickle relish. When’s the last time you got to sample pickle relish?
•          I didn’t see much kale or kale samples. Is the kale kraze over? We can only hope. Or, do people snap it up early and it’s gone…
•          The term “free range” eggs does not mean free. They cost money. Embarrassing!
•          There is apparently no such thing as free range eggplant

I think the song “Free Bird” may be about these free range hens. 

Pessimist/Optometrist

I had lunch with a friend yesterday who, after we’d completed our delicious meal, could not read his bill. So he got out his phone flashlight to shed some light on the bill. Well it really wasn’t that dark so I asked him if he had been to the eye doctor lately. He said that, as a matter of fact, he had an appointment at the eye doctor that very afternoon. I, of course, had to ask him the following: “Andy, please don’t tell me you looked at the eclipse.”

I don’t know anyone who has gone blind from the eclipse, do you? How about your pets? I know that there was concern about pets looking at the sun that day as well. If any of you are now blind because of the eclipse, let us know here at Uncle Tommy. We’d like to hear about it.  

Marijuana at Community Band Concert

We went to an outdoor community band concert last month. It was on a Sunday evening and the event had a nice mix of people – some seniors, some families. Multiple times during the concert though, I smelled the distinct odor of marijuana wafting through the crowd. This saddened me, ‘cause this was a family program – a band concert as opposed to a rock concert. Hopefully it was just some guy who had medically prescribed marijuana, and maybe he had to smoke it in order to be able to drive home. 

Regardless, I have some suggestions for concert coordinators to lessen the effect of marijuana at future concerts:

• Don’t have the band perform any songs written in the late ‘60’s or ‘70’s. No Grateful Dead covers by the community band. Stick with the John Philip Sousa march-type stuff.
• Set up a special seating section for marijuana users, downwind, in the northeast section of the seating area
• Set up special band concerts just for marijuana users. THEN, you can pull out the Grateful Dead covers and everybody goes home happy. Or wherever they go.