2026?

 

I was at the bank the other day and saw that the 2026 calendars are already available. That seems a little early, doesn’t it? We’re not even three quarters of the way through this year! They’re big calendars, but one would think that, with 100 days still to go in this year, they might get lost…

On the other hand, I recently noticed that our local grocery store still had the 2025 Farmer’s Almanac on the rack, between the National Enquirer and the Midnight Star.  That seems a little late for the almanac, I thought. Those crops are already being harvested, man…

Of course, the stores could just leave the same issue of the Enquirer out there all year and nobody’d notice.  Those UFO’s are gonna land whenever they want to. And Prince Harry will still be moping out in California…

I've Seen Earth Wind & Fire and i've Seen Rain

Earth, Wind, and Fire (EW&F) toured again this summer for like the 50^th time. Has anyone besides me not seen them live? What’s with their name? Is there significance to it? Shouldn’t we understand it by now? I don’t think we do.

Is one of the guys Earth, one of the guys Wind, and the third guy Fire? Are they supposed to be like Rock, Paper, and Scissors (RP&S)? (I never understood Rock, Paper and Scissors. Scissors cuts paper. And Rock destroys Scissors. But no way can Paper ever beat Rock. Rock would destroy Paper. C’mon. Sure, they’ll tell you that paper surrounds the rock. Yeah, right.)  In the case of EW &F I suppose Wind could blow out Fire, Fire could destroy Earth, but how does Earth destroy Wind?

Who wins a tag team fight between EW&F and RP&S? Discuss among yourselves...

Dust My Broom

In sports, when a team has won all the games in a series leading up to the final game of the series, fans supporting that team hope for a sweep, which is when a team wins all the games in a series. This leads fans to bring brooms to the final game; the brooms signify the sweep. Pretty clever, huh? I have a couple of observations on these events:

•           Fans only bring straw brooms, also known as corn brooms. I’ve never seen a push broom at a game. Somebody should bring one. And just once I’d like to see one of those Bissels at a game…
•           I’m surprised they actually let people bring brooms into the game. It’s a wonder nobody gets hurt. If I was in charge I’d limit it to whisk brooms. It’s hard to get hurt by one of those.

If I owned the team, I’d allow brooms at the game but I’d make it a condition that the fans sweep up around themselves after the game. Especially if it happened to be one of those bring your dog, Bark at the Park nights. C’mon. Is that asking too much?

Skin Care

Yesterday I heard somebody talk about getting goose bumps. Goose bumps are “a psychological reaction where your skin develops small raised bumps due to cold, fear, or excitement”, per Webster. I bet Eskimos get them, especially if they’re scared or excited.

People used to also get goose pimples. I know I did. But you never hear about goose pimples anymore. Why is that? Was a cure developed for goose pimples? A vaccine?

I’m thinking that global warming made them disappear. I’ll ask my dermatologist. I have an appointment next month.

Every Picture Towels a Story

Yesterday I was in a restroom in a building I rarely visit. After washing my hands I approached the paper towel dispenser. There was a picture on the front of the unit providing instructions as to how to get paper towels out. I interpreted the picture as indicating that there was a motion detector in the unit and I just needed to wave my hands to get the paper towel. So I waved my hands around for a few seconds hoping after a few waves that the other men in there with me weren’t watching. But the towel would not come out.  Eventually another guy had to dry his hands. He used the dispenser down by sink #4 and simply pushed the lever underneath the dispenser to get his towel.  So I had to tell him I was trying to loosen up my sprained wrist. 

Get the picture? 

Wedding Ball

 

I’ve been told I need to be “more positive” in my attitude regarding the Travis Kelce / Britney Spears engagement announcement. Hey, I’ve got nothing against these people. They have every right to get married.  I just don’t think it’s front page stuff. I don’t pay that much attention to it…

Now we’re hearing that Britney might do the halftime show at this year’s Super Bowl. Wouldn’t that be something? But they need to take it to the next level. I want to see them get married at the Super Bowl halftime show. Hopefully (for them) Kansas City will be in the Super Bowl…

But an even cooler event would be to get Brittney and Travis into one of those state farm commercials with Patrick Mahomes, the coach, and that out of tune State Farm guy.

Wait, let’s ramp it up even further! Let’s have them get married on the State Farm commercial. That way we can see it 20 times every game. Premier it during the Super Bowl. More people watch the commercials during the Super Bowl than the halftime show anyway. I’m positive!

Circulation Issues

Sorry for not posting anything lately. I've been on vacation and been out of circulation Speaking of circulation, the library in the neighborhood where I grew up is closing. The excuse they're giving is that the building is not on a main road and people can't find it. Seriously. So, I'm wondering if it's a case of people going there and borrowing books and then not being able to find the library to return them maybe? The library has been there for like 100 years; for people to say now that it's difficult to locate seems like a stretch...

So, if you know a library is closing, shouldn't it be everyone's goal to take books out now before it closes? Because if the library closes, you don't have to take them back, right? Christmas is just around the corner, folks...