Timey Tombits

Well, we made it through another time change, didn’t we? It only took me two miles to change the clock in my car Sunday morning. It was city driving, but still, I thought that was some pretty efficient cloxting...

I had forgotten that my bedside clock radio changed itself. It’s hard to believe that my clock radio has better technology than my car…

I hate waking up on TCM (Time Change Morning) not knowing if the clock has adjusted. I think it would be beneficial to have a television channel dedicated to providing us the time. Just have a guy on there telling us the time. And he could do other cities, like the weather man. “In Tulsa, it’s 2:13PM.” Maybe do some forecasts. “In four hours it will be 6:13PM in Texarkana.” Maybe let him do a countdown on New Year’s eve without the hoopla. No Ryan Seacrest. No Dick Clark pictures. No music. Just the guy.

The sponsors would be Timex, Rolex, companies like that. And whoever makes clock radios.  

 

Swinger

So yeah. The World Series ended last week. We talked about it at work and this young guy told me how much he really likes it when guys hit home runs and flip the bat and then stand and admire their hit. I thought to myself, hey, if this is what it takes to attract young people to baseball, then why not?

So this got me thinking, this type of behavior might benefit other sports. Like golf. How long before we start seeing golfers flip their clubs after a nice drive, or a nice approach shot? You could maybe get a second caddy to retrieve the clubs. Television ratings would skyrocket.

Then maybe, just maybe, you could also add a running race (or cart driving) element to see which golfer could get to his ball faster. This would also speed up play, thus allowing the course to accommodate more golfers and thus increase revenues for the course. And due to the added volume of golfers, you would pay less to play a round. It’s a win-win.

Hey, it doesn’t take a genius to figure this stuff out.

 

Short Bed Cookie

I traveled as part of a vocal group in college; when we traveled we often stayed at people’s homes. One time we stayed at this house with really short beds. Like 5 foot beds. We were college kids so we thought those beds were pretty funny. In hindsight they were probably valuable – like Napoleon or Charlie Chaplin slept in them or something…

But yeah, short beds remind me of short bread. I wonder if unleavened bread is ever called short bread. There’s no yeast in it, you know, so it’s a short loaf. I bet wee Zacchaeus served short bread when Jesus ate at his house. So, like, if the loaf gets too high, do they use shortening to bring it down? At that point does it become shortening bread?   

Looking back, I probably could have used some shortening to fit into that short bed in college…

 

Supposebly

Why do people say “supposebly” instead of “supposedly”? I cringe when I hear this word. I don’t know why this word is so difficult. People don’t say “inadvertentbly”, or “suddenbly”, or accidentibly, or well, you get the picture. Certainbly. I don’t think it’s a function of Covid; I’m pretty sure it happened before Covid.

This mispronunciation (yeah, don’t mispronounce THAT word!) has been going on for a while, long before auto-correct.  Auto-correct knows to correct it, but now that I think about it, people never write it wrong. They just say it wrong – weird…

I can't wait for oral auto-correct. This application would gently interrupt and correct people when they use incorrect grammar or language when speaking. The technology is available, supposebly.

 

Paint Solution

We’ve got this squirrel on our roof who’s apparently trying to eat our house. He gnaws away at our wood trim, day after day. It’s not like woodpeckers who eventually hope to find a bug in the wood. This dude’s just eating paint and eventually wood. I’ve lived around squirrels my whole life and have never had this problem. I’ve had to replace wood twice already.

The solution I’ve come up with is this: find some old lead-based paint and repair the spot. Maybe add some asbestos to the mix. Is there an underground market for lead-based paint? Do they sell this out the back door at Sherwin Williams?

 

The Rail Deal

What’s with the crazy graffiti you see on rail cars? It’s on box cars, tankers, you name it. And the artwork seems to have some weird consistency from track to track. It’s almost as though someone is coordinating the style of the work. Was/Is there one great graffitist these folks emulate?

And, oh, the unselfishness of this work! These artists do the work, knowing that they may never see the car again. It’s not like they can take their moms to see it. Those cars are gone, man. The best these artists can do is to wait for trains at railroad crossings saying things like, “I think one of mine is coming”.

I would like to see this activity enhanced to include:

·         Rail cars that were painted when the train was moving. This takes it to a whole new level.

·         Commercial jets.

I don’t think that’s asking too much. (No, I would not expect the jets to be painted while moving).