The Paper

I hate having to call the newspaper when I don't receive a paper.  The person in distribution always asks the same question. "Did your neighbors get the paper?" I hate that question. My answer is typically something like "I tried to peek in their windows to check but their curtains were pulled."  Or, "If I ask them if they got a paper, then they're gonna think that I think that they have my paper." Or, "I looked in their bathroom windows and they were reading the paper, but I think it might have been yesterday's." Or, and this may be the best response, "Why don't you call my neighbors and see if they have the paper?" I never think to have that conversation with my neighbor that probably should go something like this. "Hey Steve, do you get the paper? 'Cause I might have to call you sometime to see if you got it when I don't get mine. Can you be that guy for me?" I suppose the newspaper should encourage us to have that conversation.

I'm not sure why I even get the paper. Our paper has gotten so skinny that I'm afraid that some day the obituaries are going to be in the Living Section.