Wax 'n Wicks

Have you ever wondered at church whether or not the first advent candle, the one that gets lit all four weeks, is going to make it all the way through Advent without running out of wax? And if it does run out of wax and the flame gets really low, will it set the wreath on fire? And will the wreath set the church on fire? And is there enough water in the baptismal font to put out the fire? No, I’ve really not had those thoughts either. At least not often. I mean, well, I don’t have those thoughts when it’s not Advent…

I like to think that I’ve coined a few phrases over the years: “Living low on the hog”, and “Red meat necks”, come to mind. For the person who has way too much going on during the Christmas season, I refer to that as “Burning the Advent candle at both ends”. Feel free to use that. That’s Uncle Tommy’s gift to you, my loyal readers, this Christmas season.  

Leftovers

I love reading restaurant reviews online. Reading these helps you select a restaurant and know what to order when you get there. And they’re fun to read. And I’m sure they’re fun to write. People like writing things on the internet. Anyway, some guy wrote a review about a pizza place that is so good…how good, you ask? So good that he would eat YOUR leftovers. Wow. I had not seen that before. Very original and very convincing. It reminded me of my college years where we were in a pizza joint late one night and people came in off the street and ate pizza crusts off the plates at the empty tables.

I called that situation a win-win-win because:

1.       The hungry guys off the street got fed,

2.       The restaurant had less trash to deal with, and,

3.       It was good entertainment for me. And now you!

Hot Dog Lunch

I’ve been blessed with some great catered lunches already in this holiday season and there are more to come. All this great food makes me think of those less fortunate, specifically our canine friends at doggie day care. And it may sound cold to spin this into an entrepreneurial opportunity, but I know some of you look to this website for business startup ideas. So yeah, if someone is already paying $23 per day (that’s $115 per week) for canine daycare, what’s another $8.50 for a hot meal to be delivered to your dog each day? Our canine friends deserve that, don’t they? And we would all enjoy our holiday lunches more if we knew our four legged friends were getting something good as well.

And the great news here for you the entrepreneur is that, once you get your product into a daycare for one dog, all the dogs are going to want it. BAM!

These Boots Are Made for Dancing

I’ve always, believe it or not, worked around some pretty fun people. Back in the 20^th century I worked with this woman who, on snowy days, would put on her coat and her high (leather?) boots a little before 5:00 and dance. Word would get around the office that she was going to dance so the rest of the workers would all gather and sing Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots are Made for Walkin’” and she would strut around the office. I vocalized the trumpet part, which, I must say, I was pretty good at. (Still am.) This made for good fun, good team building, and, of course, good memories. You can’t plan team building exercises this good.

I should also mention that this woman was also a scratch bowler. I’m not sure if there is a connection there – maybe she wore high top bowling shoes or something…

But speaking of scratch bowlers, this is our 300th post here at Uncle Tommy's. Thanks for reading!

Sweaty Voting Booth

When I voted last month at our elementary school I couldn’t help but notice that the person before me left an odor behind. Our booths are fairly open. There’s no curtain or anything. But it stunk. How does this happen in November?  Did he (or she?) sweat over their decisions in the booth? With this type of stench entering the schools, it’s no wonder they close school on voting day. Kids have to eat in that room…

They did not close school for the mayoral primary in September. Weird. Do they think that none of the threatening, dangerous people would vote in a primary? Do those types just show up for tax levy votes? Did I miss the research on this? There were no incidents that day so their research must have been good…

I don’t recall a stench in September either. Believe you me, I would remember that.