Halloween Etiquette

Halloween is approaching and I hope you’re ready. Each year I try to address a different aspect of Halloween Etiquette. This year’s topic addresses the question of when is a child too old to trick or treat. As you prepare for the annual parade of young people coming to your front door, your “ineligible for treat” list should address the following:

•         Old Bald guys- too old. We are ineligible.
•         Smokers – ineligible unless they’re dressed as John Boehner which I would find clever. Give an extra treat if they cry for you.
•         Pregnant women – You’re on your own on this one. Some say a pregnant woman is too old to trick or treat. Others say give her double since she is “eating for two”.  There are all kinds of complications here like, what if I give her a Snickers or a Reese and it turns out the baby has a peanut allergy? For this reason, I keep some jars of baby food on hand in case a pregnant woman comes to my door. Get Gerbers Pumpkin if you can find it.  
•         Pregnant women smokers - Ineligible
•         Men with beards –Ineligible if real. Give it a tug. But get permission before you tug. 
•         Bearded smokers – Ineligible.
•         Double ringers. Those who ring the doorbell twice are ineligible. Greet them with a smile and tell them what they’ve done. Then, ask them to try it again.

Oh. And remember the poncho rule. If it’s raining, ask to make sure there’s a costume under the poncho. A poncho by itself is not a costume.