Marco Polio

Our daughter recently attended a polo match. (She sent a picture. I said that I didn’t see any horses in the picture. She said the horses were behind her. I said, Oh. I thought that was your pony tail.) She and her friends enjoyed themselves. I can’t figure out why so many people dislike the sport so much. I see people wearing shirts saying “Wipe Out Polo” and “Stamp Out Polo”. I saw a bumper sticker with the message “End Polo now”. Rotary is against polo. Bill Gates is against polo.  Is this some type of class warfare? Do people really dislike the Upper Class that much? I thought Bill Gates was upper class. I’m confused…Is it healthy to have that much hatred in our society?

Wait. What? You say that’s polio? They want to wipe out polio? Well, OK then, I’m good with that.

Now, what about Water Polio? What are we doing about that?

In Your Dreams

Ever have dreams? I’m not a psychiatrist but I think dreams can be categorized as follows:

•          Black and white dreams
•          Silent black and white dreams
•          Silent black & white dreams with an upright piano being played
•          Color dreams
•          Color foreign language dreams with subtitles
•          Color foreign language dreams without subtitles
•      Animated dream-shorts 

Did color dreams begin when color movies came out? Did people dream in black and white before that? If one of our older readers could write in with that info that would be helpful.

Have you ever had a dream that started in black and white and then (like The Wizard of Oz) became colorized mid-dream?

Little Rock

I’ve been to Arkansas once. We got some good barbecue in Blytheville at a little place called The Dixie Pig. It’s a bit off the main road but it’s worth the drive. They put the slaw right in the sandwich. But no, this is not one of those posts about meat. It’s about Arkansas and its beautiful capital Little Rock. If you ever find yourself living there, or if you live there now, I would recommend that you not buy your engagement ring there. Why is that, you ask? What does your Uncle Tommy have against the fine jewelers in central Arkansas? Well, it’s pretty simple. Would you really want your engagement ring to come from “Little Rock”? Do you want to deal with that the rest of your life?

Get yourself a nice watch or bracelet or something. But I'd avoid the ring.

Gaggle Me (Bird Post V)

Do you remember back when we used to actually like geese in this country? They were considered unique, maybe beautiful by some and it was kind of special to see one. I mean, who didn’t love Mother Goose? Now these geese, these rats of the bird family, are everywhere! And, is it just me, or are they getting larger? We heard a while back about one getting hit on the turnpike by a Dodge Caravan going like 75 MPH and, not only did it tear up the underside of the van, the goose lived to tell about it. My theory is that this story and others similar have been rallying cries for the flock. As a result, geese gangs have taken over parts of parks, ponds, schoolyards – places where children used to play, forcing the children to stay inside and play video games (and gain weight). There are rumors that they have taken over entire Day Cares.

My theme for this year’s Thanksgiving (and the Canadian Thanksgiving) is “Take a Gander – Please!”

Barbershop Buzz

I ran into an old friend at the barbershop last week. While we waited for our turns in the chair, he started telling stories from when we worked together. Well, I appreciate barbershop fellowship and these were good stories. But when my turn in the chair came, he did what I was afraid he was going to do – he kept talking. Now, barbershop etiquette would say that conversing should stop once the clippers start. But he just kept going, and I couldn't hear hardly any of it. There was no possibility of non-verbal communication – head nodding or shaking was obviously out of the question. Eye contact was impossible – even with the mirrors. I caught a word here or there and gave out a couple “Uh-huhs”. By the end of my haircut I was exhausted.   

If this happens again, I’m gonna give that guy “cuts”.

Dog Days of.....September?

What is up with all these “Bring your dog to the ball game” events? I’ve never done it. Have you?

•          Do you have to go to the game or can you just drop off your dog?
•          Does the dog get its own seat?
•          Why is this only done for baseball? Why can’t I drop my dog off for a movie?
•          Do these dogs even understand the game? Dogs apparently do understand basketball, for instance. (Remember Airbud?)
•          Do the dogs get to run the bases after the game?   

This all sounds nice. But I still sense a void here. Baseball needs to go one step further. What about the poor homeless dogs? Doesn’t there need to be a special night when the dogs at the pound get to go to a game? 

I can't believe this has not been addressed.