Street People

What’s with the parents who push their kids’ strollers or pull their kids’ wagons in the street when there’s a sidewalk available? I see this type of thing happening more and more. I was attempting to pull into my driveway last week when I had to wait for this family to walk by me in the street with their wagon before I could park. At least they were walking against traffic but hey, we have pretty good sidewalks last time I looked.  The dad gave me the “I know we’re in the street and I feel pretty silly about it and I’m sorry” look. The mom did not look apologetic. 

So is this mom part of some weird pedestrian rights kick? Are these aggressive walkers working to take over the roads? Well, let ‘em try whatever they want but I’m still gonna drive on the roads.

On the bright side, does this mean I don’t have to shovel the snow off my sidewalk anymore?

Tastes like Cchicken

While driving by a busy shopping center today I saw a sign for a new Llama and Alpaca store. I have not gone to the store yet but I figured it had to be one of the following:

a)      A store specializing in clothing and stuff made from llama and alpaca hair

b)      A pet store

c)       An animal rental store for hikers

d)      A butcher shop

If I had a llama I’d name him Lloyd. Are there any other words that start with double consonants? Let us know here at Uncle Tommy’s if you find one. I know you international readers may have a trick or two up your sleeve on this but let’s limit this contest to the English language. Thanks!

Number One

My kids, when they were infants, invented some pretty cool words, some of which are better than what we adults use. Check these out:

•          Chee – Singular of cheese. “Daddy, can I have one more chee?”
•          Elvis – Singular of Elves. “Can I put Elvis on the tree, Dad?”
•          Deluck – Singular of Deluxe. After waiting a long time in line at the car wash, my son said, “I hope the car ahead of us doesn’t get a deluck wash. Those take a long time.” One deluck pizza.
•          Urinade – “There is urinade in the toilet, Dad. Should I flush?” Obviously, urinade is  singular as well. It is, in fact, #1. 

I’ve tried to add the following:

•          Media – “I can’t decide which of the media to go to to get my palm read."
•          Poncho – “Don’t forget to bring four poncho.” I know you’re s’posed to add the “s” here but I like the sound of “four poncho”. 

Who decides if you have to put the “s” on for plural? I’d like some say in that.

Wax 'n Wicks

Have you ever wondered at church whether or not the first advent candle, the one that gets lit all four weeks, is going to make it all the way through Advent without running out of wax? And if it does run out of wax and the flame gets really low, will it set the wreath on fire? And will the wreath set the church on fire? And is there enough water in the baptismal font to put out the fire? No, I’ve really not had those thoughts either. At least not often. I mean, well, I don’t have those thoughts when it’s not Advent…

I like to think that I’ve coined a few phrases over the years: “Living low on the hog”, and “Red meat necks”, come to mind. For the person who has way too much going on during the Christmas season, I refer to that as “Burning the Advent candle at both ends”. Feel free to use that. That’s Uncle Tommy’s gift to you, my loyal readers, this Christmas season.  

Leftovers

I love reading restaurant reviews online. Reading these helps you select a restaurant and know what to order when you get there. And they’re fun to read. And I’m sure they’re fun to write. People like writing things on the internet. Anyway, some guy wrote a review about a pizza place that is so good…how good, you ask? So good that he would eat YOUR leftovers. Wow. I had not seen that before. Very original and very convincing. It reminded me of my college years where we were in a pizza joint late one night and people came in off the street and ate pizza crusts off the plates at the empty tables.

I called that situation a win-win-win because:

1.       The hungry guys off the street got fed,

2.       The restaurant had less trash to deal with, and,

3.       It was good entertainment for me. And now you!

Hot Dog Lunch

I’ve been blessed with some great catered lunches already in this holiday season and there are more to come. All this great food makes me think of those less fortunate, specifically our canine friends at doggie day care. And it may sound cold to spin this into an entrepreneurial opportunity, but I know some of you look to this website for business startup ideas. So yeah, if someone is already paying $23 per day (that’s $115 per week) for canine daycare, what’s another $8.50 for a hot meal to be delivered to your dog each day? Our canine friends deserve that, don’t they? And we would all enjoy our holiday lunches more if we knew our four legged friends were getting something good as well.

And the great news here for you the entrepreneur is that, once you get your product into a daycare for one dog, all the dogs are going to want it. BAM!