Junior Achievement

Continuing our theme of birth order, this reminded me of an old post when I discussed why my wife and I did not name either of our boys Tom Jr. One of the main reasons - and I think this still may happen - is that I thought a school might get named after me (or one of my sons) someday. At least it was in the back of my mind. If it's an elementary school, I don't see a problem. But if it's a junior high or high school, be careful. Take Ken Griffey Sr. for instance. Pretty good baseball player, right? But if someone names a junior high after him it would be called Ken Griffey Jr High School. Now see, that sounds to me like it is named after his son, Ken Griffey Jr. But if it WAS named after his son, would it then be Ken Griffey Jr Jr High School? In the same vein, a Sr High School could never be named after Jr because then you'd have Ken Griffey Jr High School. You'd hear conversations at graduation like, "I don't understand, Marge. You told me Ronnie was graduating from high school. He's 19."

I guess the answer would have been to name him Ken Quincy Griffey.

 

Feel Like a Number?

My former staffer told me recently about a baby named Ivy. I thought that was a nice name and of course asked if she, being named Ivy, was a fourth child. This led me to compile the following list of baby names based on birth order

First Child – Junior or Jan(uary)

Second - Deuce

Third - Tre, or Gale Sayers (his book was "I am Third")

Fourth – See above (IV (do I need to explain these?)) + Quadry

Fifth - Quint, Vee, or Jim Beam

Sixth –Vi

Seventh – Steven – just insert the “t”, or Lucky

Eighth - Augie, Henry, Edeighth

Ninth – Nina or Nino

Tenth – Tennyson

Eleventh – Evelyn or Elvin

I see where Elvin Hayes, the former Houston Rocket, is finally getting his number retired. That is WAY overdue. I assume he was #11…

 

Dig This

We don’t see as many nicknames as we used to, do we? The days of cool nicknames are probably behind us, unfortunately. It’s too bad ‘cause some of the nicknames were great. But there’s one nickname I won’t miss, and that’s Doc. Oh, it’s fine to be called that if you’re a doctor. Doc Holiday was a dentist, for instance. But what’s with the people who are called that who aren’t doctors? Are they trying to impress women? Did their parents want them to be doctors? I can’t think of another profession related nickname used by people outside the profession, can you?

(I guess one exception may have been Digger Phelps, the former basketball coach. Most of us associate the name Digger with employees at the cemetery.)

I used to know a guy named Dock. To my knowledge he did not become a doctor. He may have become a longshoreman but I’ve never been able to confirm that.   

 

The Rite Stuff

The Rite Aid Pharmacies near us double as liquor stores. You walk in the store, and on the left are the overpriced grocery items. And then there's row after row of liquor. Hard liquor. It makes me wonder what the management meetings are like. There’s gotta be somebody up top telling the pharmacists to “cross-sell”,

•          “When a customer’s not that sick, would it kill you to recommend they pick up a fifth of Jim Beam on their way out?”
•          “Make sure the customers know which scripts can be taken with alcohol.”  
•          “Encourage the customers to browse the liquor aisles while they wait for their scripts”
•         “Create delays so the customer browses the liquor aisles while they wait.”
•          “Remind the customers of the taste test in aisle five.”

You know management is pushing this “cross-selling”. It doesn’t take a genius to figure this stuff out.

 

Can I Get That on a Sugar Cone?

I was in a suite at a football game last year where they served prime rib. Ooh, great, I thought. But then I found out they only had plastic silverware. Awkward! My fork broke in the first quarter. Fortunately I had not yet eaten my dinner roll so I broke the roll in half and inserted the beef. The makeshift sandwich was still awkward ‘cause the beef was a little tough. I think I was still chewing well into the third quarter…

On a related note but totally opposite end of the dining spectrum, have you heard of these cones you put your food in at fairs and festivals? We saw a guy with a giant cone full of pulled pork, mac & cheese and coleslaw. Not a bad idea I suppose.  

As an incentive for children to finish their meals, I wonder if they could put a scoop of ice cream in the bottom of the cone. “Keep eating, son. I know it’s down there.”

 

Loaf at First Bite II

So yeah, I’ve been around a while, seen a few things, and this half loaf of bread idea is not bad. I kinda like it. It’s cheaper than the full loaves and it doesn’t have to stay fresh as long ‘cause you use it faster. I got my half loaf for $1.79 or something like that which isn’t bad in today’s market. You gotta deal with the two heels but I think the good outweighs the bad. Others may differ.  

Where will it all stop, you ask?  Will we eventually see bread sold by the slice, like pizza? Well, I'm no Jeanne Dixon, but I'll go out on a limb and predict that we'll see that in our lifetimes. With my luck though, when I buy my slice I'll probably get the heel.