Girl with the Curl

Remember when your dad used to tell you to “straighten up!”? Well, I’ve been “curled up” with a new book I received for Christmas the past few days. I can’t put it down. Do we really “curl up” with books? Can I curl up with a kindle? My phone? I think we can, and we do. We like to curl up, don’t we? (“Don’t bother me – can’t you see I’m curled up?”) It’s a mini-hibernation of sorts…

But can we curl up too much? This curling up thing can’t be good for our posture, can it? Like, when you go to the chiropractor, does he or she take a look at your spine and then ask you if you read a lot of books?  Is that a thing?

I’m guessing this concept started from women in curlers sitting under the hair dryers at the beauty shop reading Glamour or some prince of the week’s book. I’m still pretty busy running this blog so if somebody could look that up, that’d be great.

 

Happy New Word!

Somebody noted recently that I used the word “vegetariosity” in a post. That of course refers to one’s tendency to eat vegetables versus meat. I’m not aware that there’s a word for that, so yeah, I made one up. Isn’t that how this is done? After 700+ posts, yeah, I’m gonna have some new thoughts which encompass concepts that the English language has not yet addressed. Am I gonna wait for Webster’s to add the word before I use it? Of course not! If we all waited until the word was added, it would likely never get added.

Having said all that, it must be cool when one of your words gets added to the lexicon. Yeah, I would be thrilled with that. And it may have already happened; I don’t have time to look that stuff up – I run a blog.

I would like to see the process of developing new words to be known as “lexiconception”. Let’s get that one added.

 

On (Door) Dasher Part 2

If food continually gets left on your porch that’s not yours, you’re gonna get to know your neighbors. After a few of these incidents, you’ll know their favorite restaurants, food allergies, likes and dislikes, vegetariosity,  propensity to drink and maybe even their religion. For instance, do they continually get fish on Fridays? Do their eating patterns change during Lent? Do they fast? If so, how often, and in what times of the year? Where do they stand on wild game? Are they rares or are they well-doners? Are they meat and potatoes, or do they venture into kale and sprouts?

Back in the day my Mom would bake a pie to take to the neighbors. This is so much easier!

 

Pregnant Pause

I was talking to a pregnant couple last week who told us their doctor said their baby is currently the size of a can of Coke. I thought to myself that this reeks of commercialism. I bet this doctor gets a kicker from Coca-Cola for plugging their product. The couple is going to let me know if, on future visits, the baby is compared to a 16 ounce can or 20 ounce bottle of coke or eventually a two liter bottle.  

Of course, if your physician’s name is Dr. Pepper, you may have other sellout issues to deal with.

 

On (Door) Dasher!!

Some restaurant delivery person dropped off food on our porch one night last week. We only knew about it ‘cause our doorbell camera caught it. We had not ordered anything.  So, I had to guess what neighbor it belonged to.

In these situations, you can’t lift the Styrofoam lid on the package to see what it is. But it would be funny if you did. You could go to your neighbor and say, “Hey Sid, I see you ordered the Mu Shu Pork from Chang’s.  Is it good there?”

When these wrong house deliveries happen, it’s pretty much a lose/lose situation for you. First, you’ve gotta go door to door around the neighborhood ‘til you find the rightful owner. This takes time. Secondly, if anything is missing, they’re gonna think you ate it. “Honey, don’t we usually get more than three onion rings?”

On the positive side, if you get far enough from your house and they don’t know you, they might think you’re the delivery guy and you’ll get a tip, especially around the holidays! Merry Christmas!

 

Side Effects

What’s up with these medicine commercials where it takes the announcer longer to list the possible side effects of the treatment than it does to describe the benefits of the product? I’ve seen one treatment commercial where they list at least a dozen side effects.  The good news is that the actors look pretty happy during the reading. This woman dances around and stuff while the side effects are read. And of course the actors are attractive. And spry. But I still would not likely buy this treatment after hearing those side effect lists…

Maybe if they sang the side effect list to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas, I’d feel less intimidated.  Is that asking too much? They’ve already got the lady dancing…