Busy Busy

I have lots of friends (hey, it would be nice to end the sentence right there, wouldn’t it?)  But yeah, I have lots of friends who have retired in the last couple of years. (In fact, my friend who goes to Nick the barber just retired. See post from last week.) When you ask these folks how retirement is, their answer is (too) often, “I’m busier now than when I was working!”  Maybe people have always said this, and I just never noticed. Regardless, whenever I hear this I’m tempted to respond:

•          How hard was your job?
•          Did they replace you when you left?
•          Were you full time?
•          Were you kind of winding down at the end?
•          Does your former employer know that you say this?

Then again, maybe these folks run blogs, and they really are busier now…

 

4077

My wife flies home on flight 4076 tomorrow. I’ll pick her up at the airport. I like to find fun ways to remember important numbers like flight numbers. Or addresses, phone numbers. The human mind is great. You only have to memorize these flight numbers for a couple of days, tops. And then you tell your mind to let go of them – you don’t need them anymore. But yeah, I can remember 4076 ‘cause it’s only one digit off from 4077, the number of the M*A*S*H unit on the TV show based on the Robert Altman movie of the same name. Elliot Gould was in the movie version.  

I bet flight 4077 is a helicopter. My wife probably won’t mind sticking around the airport to see flight 4077 come in so we can find out if that’s true…

 

I Knew in a Moment it Must be St. Nick the Barber

I love my barber. His name is Nick. I’ve got a friend who also goes to Nick. We saw each other at the shop once. A few weeks later we saw each other at an event, and, after we admired each other’s hair, he asked me what I was getting Nick for Christmas. I was dumbfounded! I didn’t know what to say. Rather than question him about why he gave our barber a Christmas gift, I think I said something like, “I don’t know yet”. I increased my tip, but a gift?

Are there other people I’ve been ignoring on Christmas gifts over the years? The parking lot attendant? The Amazon guy? Is there a registry for this type of thing? Are there even Christmas registries?

Nick would be a terrible name for a barber who did shaves, wouldn’t it?

 

On the Beach

You know those times when you’re on vacation with someone you love, and you want someone to take your picture on the beach and you give them your phone? Well, it’s 2023, folks. People steal stuff. Here are some precautions you need to take:

•          Take a picture of the person taking your picture with your spouse’s phone. That way if they steal your phone you have a picture of them. This just makes too much sense.
•          Hold their phone while they take your picture. If they don’t have a phone, make them give you something of value: their watch? Maybe a pet? Of course this adds the pet to your picture -you’ll have to explain that at bridge club…
•          Do not ask the person to take videos. If you do, keep the video under 5 minutes.
•         Don’t ask somebody wearing a Speedo. Those guys can be fast runners. You won’t catch ‘em.
•      You likely should not wear a Speedo either. These pictures find their way onto the internet.  

Should non-Speedo bathing suits be called Speedon'ts? Send us your ideas!

In Hot Water!

It seems like every business still needs employees. A restaurant we like a lot almost always has a sign out that reads “Cook Wanted”. Fortunately, this restaurant is small, so we’re actually better off without the cook, ‘cause that means the owner is cooking - he’s the one back there slingin’ hash. And he’s the one who started the restaurant - ‘cause he was a good cook. So don’t let those “Cook Wanted” signs scare you – unless you see one in the post office!

Last week I saw a sign at another restaurant that simply read, “Dishwashers Wanted!” Well, using the exclamation point worked. No, I did not apply for the job. But it caught my eye and here I am writing about it days later. (Actually, I’m better at drying dishes. That’s an underrated job – you gotta know where everything goes.) But I don’t get the “Dishwashers wanted!” sign. Why don’t they just buy one?

 

To Dial For!

I’m pretty impressed with these Dial by Name Directories you get when you call some companies. You call a company, no once answers the phone, so you eventually dial “1” to use the Dial by Name Directory. A voice tells you to dial the first three letters of the person’s first name. These directories work pretty well, but there can be issues:

•          What if the person you're trying to reach spells their name wrong? If Isaiah spells his name Isiah, you could be in trouble.
•          If the person’s name is, say, Tommy, do you type Tom or Tho?
  
•          What if they have a two letter name? Is this process fair to Bo and Cy? Does Ed get any messages? 
•       What do you do with the AJ’s and the JR’s? Do we need to know their middle initials? 

And what’s with dialing “1” for the Dial by Name Directory in the first place? Wouldn’t it make more sense to dial “A”? Is that asking too much?