Home Plate

We don’t use the term “doggie bag” at restaurants anymore do we? Is this because our dogs are all on special diets? Or is it an insult to our dogs that they would eat our leftovers? Or is it because we all carry “doggie bags” around with us now when we walk our dogs? Yeah, I think that’s it. Funny how these terms evolve over time, isn’t it?   

I knew a guy who said he was grossed out ‘cause his elderly mother let her dog lick off her plate. I told him that’s common and it shouldn’t bother him. He argued that the problem he had with it was when she put the plate back in her mouth.

 

Spew Review

I read a restaurant review recently where the reviewer stated that she vomited after eating at the restaurant. That’s right. She put it right there in the review for the world to see. But there’s good news here for the restaurant: The reviewer still rated the restaurant 3 stars out of 5. That’s right. Three stars. She said she liked the service. Wow, I thought to myself. I’m not sure but maybe this means they did a nice job of cleaning up the vomit. Or maybe they were attentive and gave her a doggie bag promptly so she could take the rest of her food home. The review didn’t say…

Regardless, how can this restaurant survive a vomit review? Easy. Put it out there front and center. Set barf bags at every place setting and attack this thing head on. Put the following on the bag: "Yeah, we're the restaurant that had the barf review. Use this if you need it. But seriously, you're gonna need it to take home your leftovers 'cause we have really large portions." Something like that. Yeah.

I took a Marketing class in college. 

 

Shirt Thing

I was at a baseball game recently when those girls come out between innings and throw tee shirts into the crowd. Most of us think that’s a pretty easy gig – throwing tee shirts. Who can’t do that? Well, it’s not as easy as it looks. At this game, they were tossing Great Clips tee shirts into the crowd. Sure enough, she threw one to a guy with no hair.  He of course didn’t know what the shirt was going to say. Boy was he disappointed when he unfolded it. The place got really quiet. It put a damper on the evening…

Then there’s the size issue. Have you ever noticed how careful they are when they throw the shirts? They know what size they have and they have to look for somebody that size to throw to. It’s like being a quarterback but a quarterback only has maybe four receivers to decide between.  I caught a shirt once, and, you guessed it, it still fits me to this day.

Come to think of it, at football games, would it kill them to have the quarterback throw the shirts into the crowd? Is that asking too much?

 

Two Ringling Circus

Have you ever have one of those dreaded occurrences where someone calls you and leaves a message, and, before you can call them back, they call you again? And then you answer the second call and apologize for not calling him back. Do not do this. It’s a lose-lose. 

By answering the second call, you’re demonstrating that yes, you were available to call him back but you didn’t take the time to do it. This gives him (the upper) hand. You’re done. You’re on the mat. You’re cooked. And this also encourages him to use this maneuver again.

The optimal response here would be to not answer the second call. Instead, call him back 3 minutes later. This lets him know that yes, you did just get out of your meeting.

Acting slightly winded helps also.

 

Self Serve?

I get irritated when someone writes “First Come, First Serve”. This error is all too common in today’s world. I would interpret that expression to mean that whoever shows up first serves everyone after them. That’s not much of an incentive to show up first, unless you’re one of those servant heart types. (I am OK when this expression is used in tennis, ping pong, etc.)

The correct or at least more often used expression is “First Come, First Served”. This is what most people are trying to say, I think. Unfortunately, this saying is expressed incorrectly pretty often. Maybe, just maybe, we need to be sympathetic to the “First Come, First Serve” camp. After all, how can you be served if you’re the first one there?

 

Old Ken

I haven’t seen Barbie yet, have you? I heard it’s good. My sister (everybody’s sister) played with Barbie growing up. I saw recently where the original Barbie was supposed to be about 19 years old. That sounded about how I remember her. So yeah, I was a little surprised to see that, in the movie, Ken is played by 43 year old Ryan Gosling. Don’t get me wrong, I like Gosling as an actor. And again, I’ve not seen the movie. Maybe Ken is Barbie’s dad in the movie…

Of course the boy’s version of the Barbie doll was G.I. Joe. I never had a GI Joe. But I bet some parents just bought G.I. Joe clothes and put them on big sister’s Ken and gave them to their sons. People didn’t have a lot of money back then…