Sleep Number

We have one of those older Sleep Number mattresses. Ours was made before they had actual numbers for the different levels of firmness. Ours has just “high” and “low” on the controls. It’s adjustable – you just don’t know how far you’re adjusting it. I would often fall asleep trying to figure out the right firmness. So, when I would hear all the hip people talking about their sleep numbers ("What's your sleep number?"), I would just clam up, ‘cause when I say my setting is “medium high”, people look at me funny, and exclude me from the conversation, ‘cause they didn’t think that a product like that could exist. In a social setting, it might’ve been better just to say we don’t have a sleep number bed rather than having to admit that we bought one without numbers on it. 

Well, we eventually got a new one and now we have that old one in the spare bedroom. I can’t wait to try to sell the old one at a garage sale someday. “OK. You’re saying this is a Sleep Number bed but there are no numbers on it? But you want me to write you a check with numbers on it? Right. How about if I give you $11 for it?” Well, I’ve already prepared a response should that happen: “Hey, at least it’s not one of those really, really old sleep number beds with the Roman Numerals on the controls”. That’ll fix ‘em!