Berry Berry

I had a berry flavored water today. It was good. But when did we start having “berry” flavored anything? There was never “berry” flavored anything when I was a kid.  We had strawberry. And we had raspberry. Blackberry. Boysenberry. If we were lucky, maybe blueberry. But that was rare because at some point raspberry became “blue raspberry”. That’s a whole ‘nother post…

I’m concerned that other food flavors will be consolidated. Will they blend meats? Will a bucket of chicken become a bucket of meat? Will we have Meat-fil-A? Meat King? Grain Chex? Berry Short Cake? Fruit Cobbler?

 

Bone Density

I used to work with this woman who was a hard worker, very committed. One spring she took a vacation to Washington DC to see the monuments, the Capital, the White House, all the famous spots. She was a student of history and had an appreciation of how things worked in Washington. I think she secretly dreamed of being an elected official someday.

Well, when she came back to work, she was on crutches. When I asked her what had happened, she said she had broken her leg in two different places. I said to her, “I know you went to Washington DC. Where was the other place?”

I like to think that these types of conversations ease the pain.

 

Rash Judgment

The bug man came to our office to spray Friday. When he came to my office he looked in and asked, “Anything bugging you?” I thought that was clever. He said people ask him that all the time. And they also, believe it or not, ask him to look at their skin rashes to determine if they have bug bites or not. Crazy, I thought. I wonder if, during the rash inspection, if he actually find bugs on the person, does he just starts spraying? I mean, at some point it becomes self-defense, doesn’t it? (“Judge, I fired in self-defense!”)

Heck, if I was the bug man, I’d charge for the rash analysis. Or ask for a tip. Make a few extra tax free bucks and take his wife out to dinner. I guess the question is this: Should I be tipping the bug man now, so that he’ll be more likely to take a look at me should I ever get a rash?

 

The Daily Mirror

I’ve finally got my weight back down – it’s lower than the weight on my driver’s license now. It’s fun when you’re getting close to your goal, like when the bathroom scales says you’re within .6 lbs.  Of course you want to convert that .6 lbs on your scale to ounces, right? ‘Cause it’s easier to deal with ounces. Everybody wants ounces. The easiest thing to do in that situation is to do the math conversion right there on your steamed up bathroom mirror. It’s close, it’s handy, you don’t need a pencil and you erase it when you’re done.

This math calculation takes time however, and you may have to skip breakfast to get to work on time.  

 In the world of weight loss, that’s a win-win!

 

Come Again?

Do you ever hear people say, “These things come in threes.”)?  I think that typically refers to deaths, right? Well, we had two large celebrity deaths in January within a day of each other: singer Meatloaf and actor Louie Anderson. Both were large men.  We were on pins and needles waiting for that third large person. With all our weight gains over the holidays we didn’t want it to be us. I guess the only good news in all this is that we were more careful with our diets in January after hearing of Meat and Louie and it helped with our post-holiday weight loss. To my knowledge, the third death did not occur.

No, Betty White wasn’t big enough to be the third person!