Casting a Spellcheck

I was at a social event last night when an interesting subject came up. We were talking about our local psychic Sylvia which is always thought provoking. One of the guys told us that Sylvia has a sign by the road in front of her business. The sign is perpendicular to the road and has her name on both sides. On one side of the sign (when you’re heading south) it reads “Sylvia” but the other side (when you’re heading north) reads “Syliva”. I’ve driven by her place 100 times and I had never noticed it. I checked it out today and sure enough, it’s true.

So, like, was this intentional? Is it part of her mystique? Or do mystics made mystakes?  I hope her "reading" is better than her spelling...

And I hear she’s still cash only. C’mon Sylvia, you know if those checks are gonna bounce….   

 

Lyrics from England

Do you ever hear songs today and realize you thought the lyrics were something else when you were a kid? That can be comical:

1. Guantanemara – This Cuban folk song was a hit for the Sandpipers in the early 60’s. Instead of “Guantonemara”I thought the lyrics were “Once on a Meadow, yes, she was once on a meadow”. Do they even have meadows in Cuba?
2. I’m a Believer – I thought the lyric “When I needed sunshine, I got rain” was “When I needed sunshine on my grain.” Meadow, grain…we were more rural then. Not living off the land exactly, but a bit more rural.
3. I’d Really Love to See You Tonight by England Dan and John Ford Coley – I thought the lyric “There’s a warm wind blowing, the stars are out” was “There’s a warm wind blowing the stars around”. I’m not really good at Meteorology.

Actually, on that third one, I think I prefer my lyric. It’s lifts up the song somewhat. If England Dan or John Ford Coley could have lightened up a bit, I bet she would have seen him/them that night.   

Bonus: Who’d win a fight between England Dan and Cuba Gooding Jr?

 

Bushwhacked

I was talking to a Polish friend the other day. We discussed the Polish word for grandmother. Apparently, a common mistake in the US is to use the word Busha or Busia for your Polish grandmother. You’ve probably heard this word used. According to my friend, this is incorrect. The polish word for grandmother is babcia, pronounced “bob-cha” or “bop-cha”. Interesting.

So how did this mistake come about? Was it babies mispronouncing the word? Perhaps. But I think the obvious answer here is Barbara Bush. I think people came to this country and saw her as First Lady and likely also as first grandmother. Due to their love of their country they started calling their own grandmothers Busha. Or Busia.    

Hey, it doesn’t take a genius to figure this stuff out.

 

Horse Power

We used to have a race track across town for harness racing. A few years ago we got a casino and the track closed. I didn’t go to the track that often but lately I’ve missed it for some reason. Well, I think I’ve stumbled across a solution to this predicament. You know those open wheeled auto racing events they have in the cities, where the streets get blocked off and cars race through the downtowns? Well, why not try that with horses? The horses are already familiar with the main streets from being in parades. You could have corporate teams. Budweiser could race the Clydesdales, stuff like that. And Jockey Underwear could sponsor a team. Maybe Tommy John.

It’s a win win. Nobody has to lay out money to build a track, it’s eco-friendly, and there’s none of those boring pit stops that you get with cars.  

 

Naming Rights

I hear Queen Elizabeth is upset over the name Harry and Meghan gave their baby. When I heard of the queen’s concern, I assumed that Harry and Meghan had named the baby “Queen”, like Queen Latifah. But no, the baby’s name is Lilibet.

So, like, are we supposed to get our grandparents’ permission before we name our kids after them? I didn’t do that. Did you? What if your grandparents are deceased? Do you then get your parents’ consent? Your oldest aunt or uncle?

What if they wanted to name their dog Lilibet? Does the queen have naming rights on pets?

In the comic strip Dondi, Dondi’s dog was named Queenie. I wonder where the queen stood on Dondi?

 

Mask Again!

Sorry I haven’t posted lately. I went in for a sleep study last week. That’s where they wire you all up like that radio kit you made in 5^th grade and then they tell you to sleep. I came away with a couple of observations. First, as a result of the study you may get to wear a mask. This may lead you to ask, “But I’ve been wearing a mask for the past 15 months and I still snore. What’s up with that?” Well apparently the key is to wear the mask at night. Yeah.

Secondly, the study has nothing to do with acne. It’s sleep apnea, not acne. If you have acne, this study will probably not help you. Unless maybe your dreams are about acne. So yeah, go back a couple of pages in the yellow pages to the Acne section. If your dermatologist offers you a sleep study, I would check him or her out at the Better Business Bureau before I signed up to see if he has any blemishes on his record.