New Words and Phrases for 2023

We need to get these out before it’s too late

• Underexaggerate –  description of something that deserves more highlighting
• Under the top – see Underexaggerate
• Cloud 8 – In a good place but not quite where you want to be
• Condimentary – Comments on mustard, mayo and other items you put on your sandwich
• Long wicked - patient
• Pot calling the kettle white – When someone compliments another person but the person doing the complimenting actually does an even better job at whatever the person is being praised for
• Running on second hand fumes – beyond running on fumes. Really really tired.
• Corner of one's nose – A waft. “I smelled it out of the corner of my nose”

As always, let's get these out there. Thanks for reading again this year. I may get another post out this year but right now I'm burning the Advent candle at both ends so don't count on it.  Merry Christmas!

 

Inflation

Everybody’s got their decorations up. What do you make of these inflatables people put up in their front yards? At night they’re inflated but during the day they just lay there on the lawn, all deflated and wrinkled. During the day it looks like somebody’s clothes got tossed out the bedroom window like in that movie “Down By Law” where Tom Waits’ wife in the movie kicks him out and tosses all his clothes out the upstairs front window while he stands and watches from the sidewalk. And he yells up to her, “Not the shoes! Not the shoes!” But she throws those down too.

You never want this type of thing to happen. But guys, if you’re gonna get tossed out of your house and have you wife throw your clothes out the front window, this is the time of year you want that to happen. Get yourself some inflatables and your neighbors will never know it happened.

Of course it helps if you’re really big and you have a lot of red and green clothes.  

 

Taking a Stand

Hey, I now have a stand up desk at work.  I didn’t ask for it. It’s just been given to me for some reason. There must be money left in the budget. The stand up function is optional. The desk top rises somehow. Will I ever use that option? I don’t know. What I’m curious about is this: Could I be the oldest person in America ever to get a standup desk? How does one find that out? I’m pretty busy running this blog but if somebody knows that answer let us know here at Uncle Tommy.

Everybody at work got one. My one co-worker is really into it, to the point that he’s moved his desk chair far away from his desk. He says “Sitting down is the new smoking.” I really liked that phrase and I think it’ll catch on.

I am so moved by that statement that I’m going to look at the bottom of my chair tomorrow and see if there’s a warning from the surgeon general.

 

The Donald

I got behind a new employee tour at the grocery store Saturday. Pretty informative, I must say. I wish they provided that for shoppers. I learned that they sell whole ducks there. Who knew? If I ever get invited to a Disney themed dinner, I might need one of those…

I met up with the tour again in the dairy department. It’s amazing the varieties of milk that are available these days. Everything from goat to oat. (Goats eat oats, right?) I commented to the group (yeah, I butted in) how odd it was that Tom (G.O.A.T.) Brady is not the spokesman for goat milk. That is such a good fit but it doesn’t seem to be happening…

I’ve said this before, but if OJ Simpson had been hired as spokesman for Orange Julius he likely would have stayed out of trouble and never landed in the joint. I know, I know. I’m being a Monday morning running back…

 

1-800-Uncle Tommy

We just passed post number 800 here at Uncle Tommy (can you believe it’s number 800 already? It seems like only the day before yesterday that we started this). So I tried to find a subject with an 800 theme. I thought this might be a good time to take a look at 1-800 phone numbers. So like, why do we even have 1-800 phone numbers? They used to be of some value when you had to pay for long distance phone calls. But nobody’s paying for long distance calls anymore, right? So why do we still have them? Here’s why.

One 1-800 number that comes to mind for me is 1-800 Flowers. After a couple completes a purchase from 1-800 Flowers their typical conversation might sound something like this: “Wow, Phyllis, you spent $87 on those flowers for Helen?” “But Stan, the phone call was free.” This is how they get ya.

I took a Marketing course in college.