Romper Roomba

Today, we’re taking a look at some overused phrases.

“I slept like a baby” – Nah. Did these people have kids? I don’t know about you, but my babies did not sleep through the night. Thank goodness my wife got up…

“It runs like a top” – Nah. A top runs OK for a while but eventually it tips over. Kids don’t play with tops anymore. The top has been replaced by the Roomba which also runs around your house but it vacuums.  Parents can say, “Son, go play with the Roomba.” That, my readers, is a win-win. The kid is occupied, and, when you go to check on him, the floor is clean. Then you move gently move the child (and Roomba) to another room. Is there such thing as a win-win-win?

“Nothing runs like a Deere” – Nah. A deer is ever so slightly faster than a tractor, a mower, or a combine. And combines don’t get hit by your car.

 

Funky NASA II

Don’t the following words look like they should be acronyms?

TANG

ZOOM

TREK

GOLF

PAM

Maybe they are and we don’t know it. I bet there are secret acronyms out there that the inventors of the product made up that we don’t know about.

When I think of acronyms I think of SCUBA. Maybe because you SCUBA (yeah, let’s make it a verb) when you go to Nassau. I’m not sure. That may be the connection. Regardless, if SCUBA is an acronym, I’m guessing that SNORKELING might very well be one as well. We just don’t know.

I’m pretty busy running this blog, but if somebody has time to dive into this SCUBA /SNORKELING issue I’d appreciate it. I’m up to my neck in deadlines and don’t want to end up in hot water. No need to go off the deep end with your research. Thanks.

 

Funky NASA

We all like acronyms, don’t we? They save time. And they’re fun to use. But there needs to be some rules with these acronyms. Like, you can’t invent an acronym if that word already exists. For instance, let’s take NASA. The space program knew darn well that Nassau Bahamas existed. That word was already taken. (Was I the only kid who thought the song “Funky Nassau” was about the space program?) How many people vacationed in The Bahamas hoping to see a rocket launch? Oh, I’m sure it’s happened.

You can’t tell me that no astronaut ever told their spouse, “Honey, we’re going to the Bahamas!”   

Foggy Notion

Wearing a mask makes my glasses fog up when I walk into a building. I’ve especially noticed this at the grocery store. You walk in and your glasses immediately fog up. You can’t see so you take off your glasses. Then you really can’t see. Meanwhile you’re trying to avoid getting near people. I tell ya, it’s rough. You get home and unload groceries you don’t recognize – you have no idea how that stuff got in your cart. Did I have someone else’s cart maybe? What am I gonna do with all this oat milk?

So yeah, they’ve come out with this new spray to apply to your glasses so they don’t fog up. Too bad we can’t see in the store to find it.     

 

Got Oat Milk?

Some observations from yesterday’s Super Bowl commercials:

Weirdest commercial – The Jason Alexander shirt. This one ended with a song from a Seinfeld episode from 25 years ago. Maybe 10% of viewers remembered that song had a link to Seinfeld. Odd.

Luckiest commercial – Pringles. Immediately following the Pringles commercial, Byron (Chip) Pringle returned a kickoff for the Chiefs. If I wasn’t already hungry for Pringles, that kickoff return sealed the can, I mean the deal.

Best Commercial – Oat Milk. I dug the guy playing the keyboard and singing out in the oat field. This one caught my eye and my ear.  I don’t know much about oat milk, but I sure want to know more about it after seeing that commercial. Like, do you have to add cereal to the milk or is it already in the milk? And are there raisins in the milk? Will we eventually see Oat Milk of Magnesia? GOat Milk?

 

Business Face

Yesterday I had an experience I was ill-prepared for. By sharing this story, perhaps I can help you prepare for the situation if it ever happens to you. At a business meeting I met a woman for the first time. She handed me her business card and I gave her mine. Her card had her picture on it. That was the problem. In the picture she was much younger looking– like decades younger, like maybe something taken in the 20^th century. I get that – we all want to look younger. And thinner. But it was also a terrible picture. Pained facial expression, awkward neck angle. It looked like a “Wanted” picture you see at the post office. Only younger than those folks.

Well, I could have reacted better. I didn’t do a double take, but it was definitely more than a take, probably something around a one and a half take. I’m pretty sure she noticed. I should have been better prepared, but maybe there should be a requirement the we get our business card pictures updated every four years like we do our drivers' licenses pictures.