Meter Beater

My barber goes out of his way to do his job. If you remember, he gave me an underground haircut during April of 2020 prior to my daughter’s wedding when the barbershops were all closed. Another time I stopped in late afternoon and his shop was closed but I caught him on the way to his car and we walked back to his shop together and he gave me a nice trim.

Today, I parked at a meter outside his shop. I didn't have much change so I only got 15 minutes at the meter. Halfway through my haircut, he ran out the door without saying anything. He had seen the meter maid coming. (I had told him I was a bit short on coin.) No, he didn’t stab the meter maid with his scissors; no, my car didn’t get towed – nothing like that. No, he didn’t save my car while his got towed. No, he didn’t convince the meter maid to come in for a haircut. All that would make a better story. He merely put another quarter in my meter and got me another 15 minutes.

Regardless, I think this might make a good movie. We may have to trim the story down a bit but there will still be some highlights.

 

Sliced Bun

Football players sometimes have hair flowing out the back of their helmets. This is dangerous since it is legal to tackle someone by the hair if it’s out there. Basketball players, on the other hand (the other head, actually), often put their hair in a bun. I saw a game where a defender whacked his opponent’s bun like a piñata and the bun came undone. Hair was everywhere (but no candy). It was so bad they had to take the man with the former bun out of the game. No foul was called ‘cause the defender only touched hair.  I’m guessing that teams have to have a hair stylist on their bench now to reassemble these buns.

If I’m guarding the guy with the bun, I’m going right for that bun. It will be interesting to see if they eventually make that a foul. What will it be called? Slicing?

 

Veggie Tales

I attended a presentation about the sport known as Pickleball last week. It is America’s fastest growing sport. There are tournaments all around the country now and it may become an Olympic sport. We’re getting some new courts near us and I really want to play. The guy doing the presentation is 85 years old and he plays every day. Very impressive!

During the Q & A I asked him about the origin of the name “Pickleball”. I asked him if he thought there would be other racquet sports named after vegetables. I reminded him that we already had squash.

I like to think that maybe I’ve planted the seed for other vegetable themed racquet sports.

 

Jeans

We’ve got one of those things at work where, if you donate to a charity from your paycheck, you get to wear jeans on Fridays. The good news is I think everybody does it. I now do it. They have to be nice jeans. None of those holey ones.

I didn’t used to do it. But I kind of have to wear jeans on Friday. I don’t really want to, but if I didn’t people would think I didn’t contribute to the charity. They’ve got me over a barrel. Good thing I’m wearing jeans.

I don’t know how this works for the people who work from home and never get dressed. 

 

You Say Potato Beetle, I Say Potato Beetle

I had another nice chat with the bug man Friday. (He comes to our office and sprays once a month.) I’ve learned a few things from him in our chats and I’d like to think that he’s picked up a thing or two from me. I asked him if he was allowed to tell me which local hotels had bed bug issues, if any. He of course, as a matter of policy, was not able to share that with me. But he mentioned that yes, there was one with some bug issues, and that his aunt had stayed there.

I listened to his story, but then noted to him that he had used the “ant” pronunciation for the word “aunt” and not the “ont” pronunciation. While both are acceptable, I thought he as a bug man might find it more appropriate to use the “ont” pronunciation. He agreed and said that he would be using “ont” going forward.

We here at Uncle Tommy are glad there’s only one pronunciation of Uncle!

 

DORA Explorer

We have a Designated Outdoor Refreshment Area (DORA) downtown now. I’m not sure why they call it “refreshment” area, ‘cause it’s really just about drinking alcohol. You were allowed to eat or drink anything else there before. Now people shuffle around aimlessly carrying cups. DORA? Nah. It’s more like NOLDA. Night of the Living Drunk Assoc. Only one person’s been hit by a car so far…

We were downtown Saturday night. Unfortunately I had forgotten about the DORA. But seeing people shuffling around aimlessly holding out cups, and dealing with our downtown’s poor lighting, I quietly put a coin in each of the first few cups I saw. My wife eventually stopped me but by then I was out of coins.

Ten to one these NOLDAs used the coin to help buy another drink…