Fake Lobster

I stopped into a new deli in town the other day. It's a vegan deli. Their lunch special was lobster roll. I love lobster roll so naturally I was curious as to how a vegan deli could serve one since lobster was considered to be meat. The server behind the counter assured me that it was "imitation lobster". That was interesting I thought, 'cause I always thought imitation crab was some other crustacean that tasted kinda like crab. I wasn't sure for lobster.

There used to be a lobster tank in a bar one town over where, for $2, you could try to catch a lobster with this big hook that came down, like in that scene in Toy Story where Tom Hanks almost gets hooked in the arcade game. In this bar, if you catch the lobster they cook it for you along with a baked potato. All for $2!

The server at the new deli said they had no plans to put one of these tank games in for the imitation lobsters.

Corned Beef Beef

I read a restaurant review today where the critic wrote, "It's been years since I've even tasted a Reuben, but this one was really good". Wait. What? Isn't that like your job? To taste food?  Are Reubens really that obscure that you haven't tasted one in years? And if it's been years since you had one, why would I care about your opinion of this Reuben?

Oh, and by the way, this writer called it "corn beef" instead of corned beef. Can I trust this writer?  They probably also use the term "ice tea" for iced tea. 

This whole episode left a "saur" taste in my mouth. It probably doesn't do any good to "re-hash" it here. Having said all this, I'm kinda hungry for a Reuben. 

Milepost

I'm on vacation again so please pardon the delays between posts. I'm using Google Maps a bit, or at least trying to. I looked up a place 2.3 miles away. Pretty straight forward, I thought. In city driving, they estimated I could get there in 7 minutes. Seemed about right, I thought. But they estimate my walking time would be 48 minutes. One way. Wait. What? Now I'm not one of those Olympic walker types, and I don't do the arm pumps when I walk, but I think I can walk 2.3 miles in less than 48 minutes. That's 21 minute mile pace if you're keeping score at home. Is google aware of some type of injury I have or am about to incur? Do they not like my shoes?

What I really like are the walk time estimates for when you're going farther away, like 15 miles. Are these necessary?  Does Google know the Amish don't likely use Google Maps?

Football(ad)

I heard a football post game show last week where one of the commentators read a haiku summarizing the game. That’s right. A football haiku. Now haikus (haikai?) can be beautiful. I should know. I had the pleasure of writing haikai in junior high. I, for whatever reason, remember that learning experience very well, so I guess we can conclude that the haikai left an impression on me.  

The haikai must have made an impression on the commentator as well, as I understand he does this after every game. From my standpoint, his haiku was not very good. But I give him credit for weaving Japanese poetry into the broadcast. Somewhere his Jr High language arts teacher is smiling.

Maybe he got the idea from hearing the quarterback say “Hike!” a lot…

 

GN

I texted my wife in Houston last night. She’s there for the birth of our first grandchild, a beautiful little girl who I cannot wait to see in person. That can't happen soon enough! Of course there also was the final game of the World Series last night, also in Houston, where the Astros lost to Atlanta. So, trying to tie the two events together (that’s what we do here at UT), I told my wife that before long the baby would be taller than Jose Altuve, the diminutive second baseman for the Astros. We both laughed (I think). I ended my side of the conversation with “GN” for good night.

Well, when I typed “GN”, my phone immediately tried to finish the word, and it suggested the word “gnome”. Wow! Was my phone thinking gnome ‘cause I mentioned Jose Altuve earlier in my text? That was disturbing, ‘cause I have never, and will never refer to Jose Altuve or any other person as a gnome. Shame on my phone for doing that, especially after a loss.

I mean, why didn’t it suggest the word “gnat”? There’re a lot more gnats than there are gnomes.