Pony Up!

So, Pepsi says they’re not doing Super Bowl commercials this year. And Budweiser is saying they will only do commercials for Bud Lite. (Phew. Thank goodness we still get to see Bud Lite commercials.) So, like, for Bud Lite, does Budweiser still get out the Clydesdales?  

I never understood the Clydesdales. It’s supposed to be special to see them. But it's not like they’re  endangered or something. They’re farm animals – they live in a barn somewhere, right? Unlike the wild moose or elk, the farmer can go and look at them whenever he wants. They probably have names even (Clyde, maybe Dale)…

But yeah, since Budweiser is only running ads for Bud Lite, will we see slimmed down versions of these Clydesdales? Will we see smaller versions of the Clydesdales? Are there miniature Clydesdales? Clydesdale ponies?

That reminds me. I gotta make sure I’ve got a full pony keg in the spare fridge for the game. (That's why they use the horses.)

 

Second Best

I noticed while out driving yesterday that Rite Aid is really pushing flu shots. Their sign reads: Come in for a Flu Shot! C’mon, Rite Aid! Nobody cares about a flu shot right now, do we? No! We all want the other shot. The vaccine. The big one. Two of ‘em. Four weeks apart. C’mon. Here’s my arm. I'm sitting on pins. And needles. To advertise a flu shot today would be like a steak house which had run out of meat posting a sign reading, “Come in for our Potatoes”.   Or a seafood restaurant promoting their imitation crab. Huh-uh.

Back in the 60’s my friend’s mom brought home a record album for her kids called The Beatle’s Beat. It was by The Buggs, a Beatles knock off band. She thought it was the Beatles. I don’t remember much about it. That was ‘cause we never listened to it.

I bet she bought it at RiteAid.  

 

The Jeane Dixon Cookbook

Yeah, Jeane did a cookbook as well. You can get it on Amazon for 10 bucks. I think it’s about human food and not dog food but I’ve not read the book. Maybe it tells you what you’re going to eat tomorrow so, like, if you knew you were going to have kale tomorrow you wouldn’t eat it tonight. I wonder if Jeane predicted this kale craze. More importantly, I wonder if she predicted when the kale craze will end…

This is the type of book that you want to read in a crowded doctor’s office waiting room just to see the reaction of other people. And every once in a while you blurt out, “Mmmmm” just loud enough for a few people to hear. And then you leave the book on your chair and see if anyone’s reading it when you come out after your appointment…

 

Seven Signs

Continuing on our Jeane Dixon theme, did you know that she wrote an astrology book for dogs? Yeah. Do you even know your dog’s sign? This can be difficult since your dog has seven birthdays per year, one for each dog year. So, does this mean that your dog has seven different signs, one for each of his birthdays during the year? Would the signs be combined, in effect making your dog a Zodiac mutt? I bet the book answers these and other questions.

I saw the book at a garage sale once. I should have bought it apparently ‘cause it’s listed on Amazon for $439.82. Can you believe that? Amazon has it used for $4.09 however. Four bucks is still a lot for an astrology book about dogs.

And for that price I bet some of the pages are dog eared.

 

Comet, Cupid, Prancer and Jeane Dixon

Remember those magazines at the grocery checkout counters when you were a kid? The National Enquirer. The Star. Those headlines would grab you – UFO’s landing, celebrities, The Kennedys, The Kennedys landing in UFOs. My favorite though, was Jeane Dixon and her crazy predictions. Apparently Jeane had been sorta right on one of her predictions once, so she was looked to as a predictor of the future for a long, long time. Nixon consulted her apparently. So did Nancy Reagan. Yikes!

Well, Jeane struck out for most of her life on the prediction thing. But she got one right at the end (I looked it up): apparently her last words at age 94 as she lay dying were, “I knew this would happen.”

Nothing like going out on top.    

 

More Christmas Car Commercials

Hey, these snowflake laden Christmas car gift commercials haven’t stopped. Strange. Christmas is over. I guess GM and Ford and Fiat-Chrysler figure folks are getting checks from the government so they still might sell a few cars…

I’m probably not going to buy anybody a car next Christmas but I have an idea along those lines that you may want to tap into. Next year on Christmas morning, I’m going to beckon my wife to look out our upstairs window into our driveway. She won’t have a new car out there, but she’ll see the next best thing: our car will have been washed. Yeah.

Washing a car is practical and you don’t have to pay for it over 72 months. And I’d do the inside too.