State Birds!

OK you picky readers, I’m writing about birds now. I’ve been studying state birds this spring. The cardinal is the state bird of seven different states. With that many choices, when these cardinals are down south in the winter, how do they know which state to fly back to? Regardless, one thing flew out at me regarding the pictures of the state birds I saw as I studied this subject. All seven of these cardinal states showed pictures of their state bird and in each case the cardinal was male. The more pinkish colored female cardinal was nowhere to be found. Admittedly, the female is not as attractive as the male, but c’mon, couldn’t one of these seven states choose the female of the species as its state bird?

In an effort to bring some equality to this long-neglected male bird issue, I am approaching two states regarding initiating legislation to make the following changes to their state bird designations:

·         Texas – Lady Bird Johnson

·         Indiana – Dan Quale’s wife

We’ll see if this flies…

The Cardinals

A couple of you have written in asking why I never write about birds. I have replied stating that I’ve written about empty nesting, and one time I wrote about eggs, and I wrote a piece once about the last robin of the fall, but that didn’t seem to “fly” for these (somewhat picky) readers. So yeah, I can write about birds. I’m not a birder by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve noticed the beautiful singing of the birds in my backyard this spring. We’ve got this female cardinal in our backyard who just sings up a storm. There’s probably a formal Roman Catholic name for a female cardinal but I’m unfamiliar with that topic and I’m too lazy to look it up. So for now, let’s call her a nun, or flying nun.

Or “nun of the above” maybe.

Father's Day

This woman came up to me at Costco (I’m a member) today when I was filling my gas tank and wished me “Happy Father’s Day”. She was getting gas as well. I had no idea who she was. No, I was not wearing one of those “World’s Greatest Dad” shirts – I don’t own one. And nothing on my car indicates I’m a Dad. In fact, it was my wife’s car. Maybe I was supposed to know who she was. I’ll never know. So I just did a little laugh, took a second look at her and said “Thanks!”.

I suppose I had some options here. I could have said:

•          “Do I know you?”
•          “Do I know you other than the fact that we’re both members here at Costco?”
•          “You look familiar. Did you go to high school?” (Actually I would never say this, but it remains an option.)
•          “Do you want to pay for my gas?”

That fourth option might have been nice ‘cause the tank was empty and I had to put in 15 gallons. 

Happy Father's Day!

Salmon Pox

Well, Salmonella is back in the news again. Apparently people are getting Salmonella from eating melon that got cut up in the grocery store. They aired this story recently at the end of the national news at like 6:55PM. Shouldn’t they have placed it earlier in the broadcast? What about the poor guy who eats his melon at 6:35? What about that guy? Were they even thinking about that guy?

What’s with the word Salmonella? What about the hard working people who make their living in the salmon industry? Is it fair to have a disease named after a fish that’s still perfectly healthy to eat? Same with chicken pox. Is that fair? “C’mon, let’s go to Chick-fi-A!” “No, I’m not going there. I might get chicken pox!” OK. Yeah. Nobody says that. But maybe that’s why there’s no Salm-fil-A  restaurants…

Anniversary Metal

June is anniversary month for many of us. Do you know the metal for your anniversary this year? The 25^th anniversary metal is silver and the 50^th is gold, for instance.  I think the rest of these years may be made up as they seem to vary from list to list. Somehow, the 8^th anniversary is bronze, which you and I know as the third place metal in The Olympics. No, I have no idea why the 8^th year gets the third best metal. When I find out, I will let you know. (It’s kind of like figuring out why Teddy Roosevelt is on Mt Rushmore.) Oddly, the 6^th anniversary metal is iron. Or maybe it’s “The iron”. (“Have you noticed how much better Stan’s shirts look since his anniversary?”) Tenth anniversary is Tin. That at least makes sense phonetically.

I would like to venture away from metals for some other anniversary year potential themes:

·         31^st – Ice Cream at Baskin-Robbins

·         57^th – Ketchup

After 57 years, Ketchup doesn’t sound like much of a gift. Better add a hamburger to that. (No, there’s no putting ketchup on hot dogs.)

Cash Back

I was at the post office mailing something last week. When I paid with my debit card, they offered me the “cash back” option. That made me smile ‘cause I love the “cash back” option. It works like this: you go into a store with no money, and come out of the store with whatever you bought and with money! Yeah. Wow. This is so ingenious. It’s a win-win. Where was this when I was a kid?

Well, It turns out there’s a catch to this “cash back” scheme. It was too good to be true. I don’t think a lot of people realize this, but when you select “cash back”, that money actually comes out of your account at your bank. It is not subtracted from the price of your groceries. The cashier at the store never tells you that.

Tell your friends. Let's get the word out. My ultimate goal here is to get cash back on a cash purchase.