Open Up!

Things are, or at least they were, opening up somewhat. I saw my first ice cream truck last week. Sure enough, the truck played the song “Turkey in the Straw”. That’s been the tune the truck played pretty much my whole life. While there’s nothing wrong with “Turkey in the Straw”, shouldn’t the Ice Cream Man play something that’s more dessert oriented instead of concentrating on the main course?

But yeah, the Ice Cream Man was coming by our house just when I was opening our garage door to go out and get the mail. He stopped ‘cause he thought I was coming out to buy something. I hate it when that happens...

It was a warm day and my bomb pop melted all over my wife’s catalogues…

Droning On

We’ve got tension all over this summer. And technically it’s barely even summer. There have been near-riots in multiple cities around the country. Very sad. Meanwhile, I read that Harry (who still has no last name) and Megan are out in California and have had to call the police because they’ve had drones fly over their house a few times. Really? 

If I’m that dispatcher receiving that call to the police the conversation would go something like this:

Caller – “We’ve got drones flying over our house”

Dispatcher – “Your name please?”

Caller – “Harry.”

Dispatcher – “Your last name, sir?”

Caller – “Um, I don’t have one.”

Dispatcher – (Click)

If you want police protection I don’t think it’s too much to demand someone have a last name. Is that asking too much?  That may have worked in the UK, but…

Dessert Storm

I have been told I have a spelling problem. I’m hearing about it everywhere. I used the term “Desert Truck” in my previous post about food trucks. I often misspell dessert with only one “s”. One would think that the first "e" in “desert” would have the long “e” sound since it is followed by a single “s”. And in turn, one would think the first “e” in “dessert” would have the short “e” sound since it is followed by the double “s’s”. But no, it’s the opposite. How in the world do we expect people to learn this language? I live here and can’t even figure it out.

In defense of what I wrote, I’d be fine with getting my dessert delivered to me in some type of desert truck. I suppose that could be a beach buggy of some sort perhaps…

Just don’t get any sand in my cobbler.

Keep On (Food) Truckin'

My wife has food trucks come to her work every day. And the food is good. And she sends pictures of the food. And I have to hear about how good it is. And when she comes home after work she’s not hungry. And I’m starving. Yeah, I’m jealous. I’ll admit it.  

These food trucks, like that fussy hummingbird, don’t come to my house. C’mon, food truck. How about coming down my street maybe? Is that asking too much? You’ve got wheels on that truck? I saw them in the picture. There are hungry people where I live.  Just get a bell on the truck.

I’m thinking maybe a salad truck at 6PM, a main course truck at 6:15 and a desert truck at 6:45. Something like that. Maybe a cocktail truck on weekends? Again, I ask: is that asking too much?

Timing is Everything

Did you ever wonder about how people knew when to be places before there were clocks? The only defined times during the day were sunrise and dusk. There must have been conversations like this: “Igor is late. I told him to be here at mid-morning!” Yeah, right. You could be late for anything in those days…

Even the dusk definition probably got debated: “Well, I always thought dusk was AFTER the sun went down…”

Nowadays, things are different. Times are more precise. I haven’t heard this yet, but I’m sure we will: “I stole the Rolex so I’d make sure I wouldn’t violate curfew.”

Extra Frame

So yeah, there’s a bowling alley in the White House which may or may not be the presidential bunker. We’ve researched to see which presidents used it and came up with the following:

Ike – Preferred golf course bunkers

Reagan – As a former actor, he probably had a stunt man do his bowling

Clinton – Liked to jog to McDonald’s. Hence, had ball gripping issues. Slick.

Obama – Apologized for having it.

Nixon – Videoed himself cheating

Bush II -  “What? We had a bowling alley down there?”

Carter – Installed the peanut vending machine

Ford – “Yeah. I played in a bowl game for Michigan.”