Livernois

 

Last Tuesday I was in an important meeting with two other people at about 11:20 when my stomach started making that hungry gurgling noise. I call it livernois. I was on one side of the table and the other people were on the other side. So, like, what do you do in that situation? Here are the options:

1.           Acknowledge it, say it’s you. This can lead to a premature end to your meeting. They’ll think you’re hungry.
2. Invite them to lunch. This can also lead to a premature end to your meeting.
3. Try to flip the sound to them. Ask them if they’re OK.  It’s pretty challenging, but the higher the number of people in the meeting, the higher chance the potential the sound can be deflected.
4. Look behind you to non-verbally cast the blame on something behind you, perhaps a printer or something outside the window (“Those pesky squirrels are bad this year!”). If allowed to choose your seat, always pick the seat near the window for this purpose.

But the ultimate response in this situation is to check your phone immediately after each gurgle. This tells the other people in the room that your ring tone is on the “gurgle setting”.  This is guaranteed to work. You can thank me later. Maybe buy me lunch.