Spruce

Bruce Springsteen is everywhere these days. I keep seeing ads for him. He acts pretty tough, doesn’t he? Looking back over his career, if I was him, I would have changed a couple of things to toughen my image:

•          His first name – Bruce? That name doesn’t sound so tough. I never knew of a big time wrestler (or any tough guy) named Bruce, did you? There was no Bruce in West Side Story. No Bruce in The Outsiders. Bruce is a golf name.
•          On Born to Run, he needed to change the lyric to, “Baby we WAS born to run.” That sounds way tougher. Using correct English sounds lame.
•          I never studied his face but I bet he needs more scars. Maybe some acne.
•          He needs to have driven a cab, tended bar, stopped dying his hair.
•          He needs to have spent some time in the joint.

Oh, you say he’s trashed a few motel rooms and that makes him tough? It appears we all do that since the maids stopped coming in every day…