Coffee Shop Swap

 

I feel bad for these small coffee shop operators. People get a cup of coffee and often stay at a table with their laptops for hours, thus preventing other patrons from finding a seat. This is unprofitable for the operator. Can’t these people, these coffee shop parkers, write their doctoral theses elsewhere?

Here’s some advice to you coffee shop parkers: Instead of tying up a table at the coffee shop with limited seating, take your laptop to the much larger Chinese Buffet and get yourself a booth. Do this around 11:30AM so you can get some lunch. Then work on your thesis after lunch and, if you need to, take a nap. Wake up, work on the thesis some more, and then it’s time for dinner. You get a fresh plate!

The lighting is decent, the restrooms are adequate, the food is tasty and some of these places will even let you carry in a latte from the coffee shop. Meanwhile, seven people will have occupied the table you used to tie up at the coffee shop. Just don’t forget to take a couple of extension cords for your laptop. The buffet will not have plugs at every table and you may have to run a cord from the kitchen.

Camelot! Kamalot!

Remember when the Kennedy's were in The White House? During JFK’s term The White House was sometimes referred to as Camelot, named after the kingdom associated with King Arthur. It symbolized wealth and power.  And apparently the Kennedy's liked to listen to the soundtrack from the Broadway play of the same name. Eventually there was a movie and Richard Harris sang the theme song (brilliantly, I might add).

Fast forward 60 or so years and it looks like Kamala Harris is going to be the Democrat’s nominee. She could be our first woman president. More importantly, she could be our first president named Kamala. So yeah, she needs to use the theme from Camelot as sung by Richard Harris as her campaign anthem. This is a no brainer.

Hence, we now have an answer to the riddle, “What do you get when get when you cross the democratic nominee with Richard Harris?” Kamelot!

(Recommended Youtube listening - Richard Harris Camelot, Camelot (1967)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot Fun in the Summertime

Have you met these people who drink hot coffee on a hot day, claiming that since the coffee heats up their bodies the air feels cooler? Yeah, they’re right out in the hot sun, pouring it down. Cup after cup. It’s an interesting group. I knew a guy who drank it all day every summer pretty much his whole life. He lived a full life. And to be honest, I don’t remember him ever looking really hot or sweaty. I’m not sure how many of these guys are left. They’re likely not extinct but they might be endangered.

In doing our research for this post we ran across a website containing a letter where a guy was asking, “If I drink enough food coloring, will I sweat a different color?” There was no answer on the site, but we kinda want to know that answer. If any of you have tried this, drop us a line here at Uncle Tommy and let us know how it turned out. 

Of course we’ll want to know the time of year you drank it and the temperature of the food coloring. Thanks.

Windows 2024

Friday was a warm, humid day. I was driving and the guy ahead of me kept waiving his arm out the driver’s window. He was waving it around like a banshee. First I thought he was signaling a left turn; then I thought it was a right turn. His turn signals must not be working, I thought to myself. Then I thought he was waving me to go past him on the left. (No, I was not tailgating.) So yeah, as I inched by, I noticed he had a passenger and that he was a hand talker - one of the persons who talked with his hands waving around.  I know. I’m one. Pretty dangerous for us to drive with our windows down.

This is why flag men aren’t allowed to carry on conversations when they’re directing traffic.

Hot (Dog) off the Press

 

I know we’ve written about hot dogs a lot lately and I apologize for that, but historically we’ve had a number of meat related posts, and sometimes you just can’t avoid talking about meat. And some people consider hot dogs to be meat. But yeah, the Coney Island Hot Dog competition was held on 4^th like it always is. Here are some select thoughts on that event:

•           They don’t use coney island hot dogs! Their dogs have no sauce. Yet it’s held at Coney Island. C’mon!
• I  read about the event in the regular news section. Can we get this into the sports section already? How is it ever going to get into the Olympics if we don’t call it a sport?
• There is still a separate women’s event. What’s up with that? Do women eat less than men? C’mon. This is 2024. Let’s combine. Equality!

And I noticed that none of the contestants were “miked up”. Can we please get with the times already?

Got Mike?

Have you seen these post game interviews in baseball where interpreters assist  the non-English speaking baseball players? The interviewer asks these way too long questions that the interpreter has to quickly translate to the player. The player then responds to the interpreter and the interpreter quickly translates the message back to the interviewer. It’s quite fascinating.  As I watch them I’m trying to learn Spanish.

The latest technique is to interview the player as he plays. That’s right. A defensive player wears some type of headset and is “miked up”. The player reportedly receives $10,000 compensation from the network for wearing the mike on the field. Unfortunately, this concept only works for the English speaking players. A Spanish speaking player has never been “miked up”. To give everyone the same opportunity, I’m proposing that Spanish guys get “miked up”. The interpreter will need to be on the field with the non-English speaking “miked-up” player so we know what he’s saying. Put him or her in a protective shelter of some sort next to the player. This seems fair to me.

Sometimes you have to think inside the box.