Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Pick Me Up

My wife and I went through a McDonald’s drive through for coffee recently. We did the normal routine where you drive counter clockwise around the building and order at the speaker thing in the back. This place had the double speaker lanes – we took the one on the left. We ordered and then did the awkward merge into one lane heading for the window where you pay. I paid at the window only to look up and see a sign over the next window that said “Pick Up”.  Fortunately we were still at the cashier window, so I naturally, not yet having had my coffee, asked the cashier, “Where do the cars go? I see the sign for the pick-ups, but where to the cars go?”

She looked at me like I was from Neptune (beyond Mars). So I asked her, after having explained my question, if people ask her that all the time. She said no. I told my wife I was surprised that wasn’t part of her training.

Regardless, I thought, at least now she has something now she can share with her family after work.     

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Forty

The eclipse is behind us but we have another big event on the horizon: The Cicadas are coming. And they are apparently very loud. I heard about them today at a luncheon. I asked where they were playing and how much were the tickets. I figured they were one of those insect themed rock groups like The Beatles. Or The Crickets, Buddy Holly’s band. Or Adam Ant. Or my favorite insect themed band, Iron Butterfly.

Boy was I embarrassed when they explained to me that these cicadas are actually noisy bugs and not a loud rock band. Oops. They told me that there are two groups of cicadas coming to the US: the 13-year Brood XIX and the 17-year Brood XIII. No, that’s not a typo. The 13-year Brood is XIX, not XIII.  The numbers don’t match up. C’mon. Are bugs even worthy of Roman numerals?

Let’s save the Roman Numerals for important things like The Ten Commandments and The Super Bowl. And big t-shirts. (XL)

 

Wednesday, April 10, 2024

His Eye is on the Sparrow

The eclipse was really special Monday, wasn’t it? I really enjoyed it. We all had those special glasses. We bought the party pack – 4 pairs for $5. They worked well, I think. I mean, I could see the eclipse, but I guess I’m surprised that we all put our trust in these incredibly inexpensive pairs of glasses to protect our precious eyes. I have an appointment with the eye doctor next month. I’m kind of nervous to ask him if those glasses were really safe. In hindsight, I shoulda looked at it with just one eye. If I had thought of that, I wonder which eye I would have chosen…

Nobody warned us about the after effects of the ‘clipse. Like, for the past two days at sundown the birds don’t shut up ‘cause they think every night is just an eclipse and it’s gonna get light out again. The bats don’t come out now either.

Or maybe the birds are chirping a lot because they’re all blind from the eclipse.  I’m not sure what excuse the bats have...

I’m saving my eclipse glasses for the fireworks.

Sunday, April 7, 2024

Glasses Half Full

We have a big-time eclipse happening tomorrow. It’s gonna get dark in the middle of the day. I can’t wait. And it’s free! Have you seen all the ads for these eclipse glasses? Everybody’s advertising them. And most are getting good online reviews. Wait. What? How can there be reviews on a product that hasn’t been used yet? What am I missing here?

Are there eclipse deniers? I bet there are. People who say that it only gets dark because you put on the glasses. I bet those people are out there. Once they see the bats and the lightning bugs flying around they’ll believe I bet…

I’d look forward to the eclipse even more if it was gonna get light out in the middle of the night. I asked if we might see that, like maybe on the next eclipse, but people tell me that’s not gonna happen. Hey, it didn’t hurt to ask…

 

Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Unorthodox Sale Item

Today is April 3rd. Easter was three days ago. Today at the grocery store I saw Valentine candy for sale. Yes, it was discounted, but really? I've never seen Valentine candy in the stores in April. Easter candy after Easter I can understand 'cause there's Orthodox Easter which doesn't occur until early May. (So the Orthodox kids get the hard Peeps, the stale Russell Stover, the jawbreaker jelly beans, all that stuff.)

But Valentine's candy in April? And yeah, don't forget we had that extra day in February. This store needs to be called out on this. This is one of the situations where the store's greedy manager says, "Go ahead and put it out there. Somebody'll buy it." Gross. 

Maybe there's an Orthodox Valentine's Day. Is that a new thing I might not be not aware of? Valentine was a saint, if I remember correctly...

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Lowe Budget

I was looking for a parking spot at Lowe’s on a busy Saturday recently and finally thought I found one up close to the door only to find out it was reserved for the Employee of the Month (EOTM). That is one inexpensive employee benefit. It costs Lowe’s nothing other than the sign. Brilliant!

On the other hand though, I’m always kind of disappointed when I see that spot empty, knowing that the EOTM won’t be working when I go inside to shop.

A nice alternative here would be to perhaps eliminate the EOTM parking spot and replace it with a bathroom stall reserved for the EOTM.

If the restroom only has one stall this perk could be particularly incentivizing.

 

Sunday, March 24, 2024

The Big Dance

 

Some observations on some of this year’s participants in the NCAA men’s basketball tournament:

  •        Mississippi State against Michigan State – Who thought up this confusion? MSU against MSU? How many of you selected MSU to win this game?
  •           James Madison U – I assume this is a bunch of little guys. See post dated February 20th.
  •           Wagner College – Are they a music school? Richard Wagner’s “Flight of the Valkyries” would be a really cool fight song. And you could have Robert Duval come to the games and yell out his famous, “I love the smell of napalm in the morning!!” over the music.
  •           Stetson U – These guys should wear hats during warm ups. I’d tune in for that. Fight song could be theme from “The Jetsons”.  
  •          St. Mary’s – Could warm up to “The Bells of St. Mary’s” by Phil Spector. “Run that Chevy Down!”. Give it a listen!

Did I ever mention that I took a marketing course in college?