Thursday, June 8, 2023

Joey Chestnut

Joey Chestnut was in town last week attending a baseball game. He’s the hot dog eating champ. Dude wins every year and lives to tell about it. Nobody’s even close to his numbers. I did not make it to the game, but I wish I would have. I want to know what he does there. Is he like that old San Diego Chicken guy? Does he go out on the field between innings and “ham” it up with the players and torture the umpires? Does he drive a golf cart around on the field like that Chicken guy did? Or does he hawk hot dogs in the aisle during the game? Maybe he just sits in the stands and eats hot dogs...

I want to enter one of those contests. You just sit there and eat hot dogs, right? How hard can that be? And I think the hot dogs are free. For my training I’d start with Vienna sausages, then move up to those silly little hot dogs at Skyline Chili, and eventually move up to foot longs, so the hot dogs at the contest would seem easier to eat. I think that’s a good plan.

I just don’t want to be that guy who vomits on the stage in front of everyone. They never show him on TV but there’s always a guy like that I bet...

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