The Tommy Two Forks Test

Men, next time you’re out to a nice (anniversary?) dinner and your wife or significant other orders pie for dessert and you don’t, see if the waiter or waitress brings one fork or two with the pie.  If he or she brings two forks, congratulations, you’ve exhibited what we at Uncle Tommy refer to as the “love vibe”. You’ve passed the Tommy Two Forks Test (TTFT). If he or she only brings one fork, you’ve failed to demonstrate the aforementioned “love vibe” and probably need to up your game a bit. Failing the test can lead to awkward silences and can make for a long ride home. Of course, if your wife or significant other is not aware of the TTFT, you don’t have to worry about the awkward silence. But my guess is she reads this blog.   

Do not take the TTFT on the following days: Valentine’s Day, Sweetest Day or March 14^th. These are automatic 2 fork days at most restaurants. Also, do not expect a second fork with Spinach Pie or Chicken Pot Pie. Please note in the opening sentence that we referenced a nice dinner.