Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Eye Spy



There used to be a tight end for the Vikings whose nick name was “Eye Chart” because the letter combinations in his name were so obtuse. Well, we used to know a guy who claimed that he had memorized the eye charts that the eye doctors all use. (I know. Get a life, right?) And yet this guy wore glasses. So, perhaps we can deduct that his eyes might have been fine but his memory wasn’t so good.

Well, as you know, I’m all about finding the fun side of things, so if you ever want to have some fun at the eye doctor, try this: when they have you read the eye chart (which of course is just letters) turn it into words or, better yet, sentences. Tell a story. And finish with something like “I can’t read the bottom. The numbers seem smaller”. And when you take the peripheral vision test when you stare straight ahead into the machine and those little lights flash in the corners, instead of clicking the gadget when you see the light, yell out letters. Yeah. That thing would be a useful test if you didn’t have a neck.

And while you’re there sing that "Doctor My Eyes" song by Jackson Browne. They don’t like that song. Nobody does. 

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