Walker-Readers

I was on a busy college campus the other day and happened to see a walker-reader (WR) crossing the street at a busy intersection. These of course are the folks who read books when they’re walking. I hadn’t seen one in a while but they’re around. They’re fun to watch but they make me nervous. They typically walk in high traffic areas of campuses – I’ve not seen one in a park or on a beach. Thank goodness I’ve never seen one on a dock. They operate alone and tend to live dangerously; they typically try to finish a paragraph before checking traffic even when nearing an intersection. Their reading simply takes priority. And yes, they are exclusively book readers – I‘ve never seen one with a newspaper, magazine, crossword or kindle. And they read really thick, expensive looking books. But they live on the edge - they make texting and driving seem safe. So why is this legal?

I’ll tell you why it’s legal. First, these readers never get hit by cars, or trains. Never. Like the cleverest of animals, they have unique senses that you and I cannot comprehend. Secondly, these WR’s typically read books by local professors, in effect promoting these books by reading them while they’re walking through the campus scene. Professors, while not outwardly promoting walker-reading, will often show favoritism to known WR’s if the WR will read their book while traversing the crowded university setting. It’s one of the oldest, yet least known scams on the college campuses.

So, let’s keep an eye out for these walker-readers. And let’s be especially careful after I publish my book. Thanks.