Napquest

A year ago or so my wife and I were driving home from out of state and got a hankering for some quick Chinese food. (Is there such a thing as slow Chinese food?) So, we stopped at a Panda Express and got some stir fry of some sort. Being anxious to get home, I tried to eat it while driving. (For some reason, that’s still legal!) In hindsight, I should have just gotten some egg rolls, ‘cause it got all over me.

Chili Mac may be the worst food to try to eat while driving. We stopped at a Skyline Chili on a trip once and the manager insisted he had invented a new traveling roll up thing that could be eaten while driving. I tried it and it dripped all over my Khakis. The stains on my pants made me look like I had been ill. Boy did I have some explaining to do when we arrived at our daughter’s apartment to meet her new roommates!

Well, there is a solution to this messy subject. Everybody nowadays has maps on their phones, right? So we all have those old maps in our cars that we don’t use anymore. Well, think of these as large lobster bibs. Spread ‘em out, tuck ‘em in. Punch holes for your arms. Mom and Dad can use the maps of the big states; children can use the New Jerseys and Delawares. When you’re done, just fold the maps up and put them back in the glove compartment for next time.

These will be known as mapkins or maybe maprons. Remember, you read about it here first.