We recently had one of those worm days here. No, not a warm
day, but a worm day. A worm day is when you wake up after a mild, rainy night,
and you go outside and there are worms everywhere on your whole street. And
there’s this bad smell. This is one of the least publicized of the bad smells in
America. We know it’s there but we keep quiet about it. Everybody talks about the
skunk smells and sewage… but yeah, there are worms all over your driveway and
they’re barely still crawling but they ARE crawling and they’re trying to crawl
under your garage door. And when you foolishly raise your garage door the worms
are hanging on to the bottom of it for dear life. And they drop down on you,
like some “Past Their Sell Date” manna. And maybe you accidentally left your
shoes outside overnight and you need to wear them today but you’re afraid to
put them on now. How did Hitchcock and Stephen King miss this subject?
I think worm alerts need to factor into the weather
forecast. “Don’t go outside barefooted to get the paper tomorrow morning due to
worm alert.” Or, spin it positively. “Tomorrow would be a great day for fishing
‘cause the worms will be out.” Instead,
the weathermen tell us the temperature in cities 10 miles apart. C’mon!
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