The Clapper

One Christmas I gave my Mother and Father that thing where you clapped your hands and the lights or the radio or whatever turned off. It was called The Clapper. They had been falling asleep with the television on. (This was before the age of cable or remotes.) So, rather than having to get up during the night and turn off Johnny Carson, they could stay in bed, clap their hands twice and the television would turn off. It seemed like the perfect product to suit their needs. Everything worked great for about two months until my Dad caught a cold. Well, it turns out that my Dad had a loud, abrupt, perfect two syllable sneeze that The Clapper thought was two hand claps. So yes, the TV turned on or off every time Dad sneezed.  The clapper wore out before Dad got through his first box of Kleenex. 

When I tried to return it for a refund, the Grants Store wanted proof that The Clapper was activated by a man’s sneeze. Well, I wasn’t gonna make my Dad go in there (he was sick), so I wisely got some pepper from their lunch counter and tried to make myself sneeze. I of course did not have a cold and could not sneeze, but we found a stock boy in the back room who was pretty sick. But his sneeze did not activate the unit. So I did not get my money back.